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The Day the Children Cried
A long, long time ago I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile
The children sat there well-behaved,
Virginia, Tina, Sam and Dave,
The choir sang out sweetly, warmin' up
But little did I know about
A sound that'd make me run right out
Fingernails on chalkboards,
The high notes of those chords
And as I squirmed in agony,
I wondered why those girls believe
That awful noise was harmony
The day the music died
I started thinkin'
Why, why must the children cry?
The sopranos could be gentle but they just didn't try
My poor old aunt held her head and cried,
Singin' this'll be the day that I die.
Behind Tighty Whities
No one knows what it's like
To be a tenor
To be fated
To sing only high
No one knows what it's like
To sing these high G's
Like I do
And I blame you!
In my dreams I sing the bass line
Resonating with the men
Here I'm singing
Oh, so lonely
To sing the bass notes
Can never be...
Alto Wizard
Don't sing no operettas, no arias
Stuck between the tenors and the soprano divas
Singing counterpoint, never seen her fail
That tone-deaf and blind girl sure sings a mean alto
She's an alto wizard without a melody
An alto wizard will set the choir free
How do you think she does it?
I don't know
How does she sing at all?
She stands like a statue in front of the score
Waiting for the basses, who are the choir's core
Giving her that entrance so her voice can soar
That tone-deaf and blind girl sure sings a mean alto
We Are the Basses
We take our cues time after time
We sing real low, it ain't no crime
And bad mistakes, they make a few
It's up to us, the core of the choir, to carry the tune
And we mean to rock on and on and on and on
We are the basses, my friends
And we'll keep on singing 'til the end
We are the basses, we are the basses
No time for losers 'cause we are the basses
Of the choir
We are the basses, my friends
And we'll keep on rocking 'til the end
We are the basses, we are the basses
No time for tenors 'cause we are the basses
Of the choir
Tenor Revolution
Do You Hear the Tenors Sing?
Do you hear the tenors sing,
Singing the song of angry men?
It is the music of a section that will not be mocked again
When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of a drum
Basses beware, the revolution has begun!
Will you join the tenor rage, who will be strong and sing with me?
Beyond the lower range is there a world you long to see?
Then join in the throng that will sing you a song of the free
Do you hear the tenors sing,
Singing the song of angry men?
It is the music of a section that will not be mocked again
When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of a drum
Basses beware, the revolution has begun!
Sound of Silence
Hello basses, our old friends
You've been singled out again
A song that was so sweetly sounding
Your pitch was flat, and left our ears pounding
And the ringing that you planted in our brains
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In upper range we sing alone
Beyond your narrow range of tones
Beneath the low C when the basses sing,
All we hear is a soft growling
Then our ears were stabbed by the clash of a broken chord
With a vorpal sword
And left us with the sound of silence
And in the back row, there I saw
A dozen basses, maybe less
Basses mouthing but not singing
Save for when the MOME RATHS OUTGRABE
Disturbs the sound of silence
"Fools," said Adam, "You don't know.
It's 'lukes' not 'lucks', I told you so."
Laura pleaded, "But it's church Latin!
Roll your 'R's like a pirate captain!"
Lest her words like silent raindrops fall
Like Alec's loon call
And our diphthongs fell silent
As the choir bowed and prayed
To the cashmere god they made
The basses flashed out a clear warning
That their conspiracy was forming
And a revolution swept through the choir
Like a wave sweeps through the sea
Can't hit high B?
Go sing a song of silence.
Basket Case
Do you have the time
To listen to basses whine
About every high note they just can't hit?
Sopranos are a bunch of melodramatic fools
Are altos feeling left out yet again?
Sometimes our choir gives us the creeps
Tim can play piano while he eats
The tempo's slowing down
Some voices cracking up
How Laura's putting up
We just don't know
We went to IVCF
To analyze how we sing
They said it's lack of head voice keeping us down
We went to sing en masse
The guest conductor was "A very competent musician, actually.
He said, 'Keep those instruments well lubricated.'"
Sometimes our choir gives us the creeps
Tim can play piano in his sleep
The tempo's slowing down
More voices cracking up
How Laura's putting up
We just don't know
Trying to conduct
So you'd better hold on
Now the year is o'er,
Wednesdays will be a bore
My neighbour's dog can't stand me singing at home
Tim and Laura will be back
To give choir another crack
We didn't completely sap their will to live
Sometimes our choir gives us the creeps
Tim can play piano with his feet
The tempo's slowing down
All voices cracking up
How Laura's putting up
We just don't know
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