Volume 91, Issue 54

Wednesday, December 3, 1997

Jack Frosh


SPORTS
 

Holiday wish list

Holiday wishes!!!

Hey, it's that time of year again. The malls are packed with busy Holiday shoppers, little boys and girls are going 10 rounds with Santa, grandma is baking her holiday brownies and some of Canada's most elite sports celebrities are waiting to see what is under the tree. The Gazette sports section has a few gift ideas for some of the naughty and nice of the sporting world:

Larry Haylor, Western's football head coach – Valium. After getting suspended for the first game of the playoffs due to a post-game outburst, Larry could use the relaxation.

Cito Gaston, former Toronto Blue Jays' manager – A hair net. Turfed as skipper of the Toronto Blue Jays after bringing two World Series to Canada, Gaston will appreciate anything that helps him work at Fast Eddy's burger palace.

Isiah Thomas, NBC broadcaster – A seat ejector. When Thomas could not get his way with Raptor management, he fled to the comfort of NBC. The question is how long will it take before he bails again when things fail to be perfect.

Western's men's volleyball team – Diapers. With six new rookies on the team's roster, both the coaches and veterans will be spending a good amount of the season in training.

Guy Schultz, Canadian men's cross-country champion – An authentic birth certificate. Hey, can any human really be that fast? After failing to allow a single Canadian to pass him all year, someone is going to have to prove that he truly is an earthling.

Chris Webber, former Mustang basketball forward – Western basketball tickets. After being removed from the team for breach of team ethics, Webber can lead Western from the stands.

Dennis Rodman, Chicago Bull's flamboyant forward – A reality check. 'Nuff said.

Mark Messier, Vancouver Canucks' captain – A Lazy Boy and a two-four. After the management of Team Canada decided not to pick Messier to play for the Olympic team, Vancouver's captain will need a comfy chair and a few brewskies to help him enjoy watching his fellow countrymen compete in Nagano, Japan.

Kevin Garnett, NBA's Minnesota Timberwolves' superstar – A kick in the ass. With a contract for over $100 million, this guy doesn't need a thing.


To Contact The Sports Department: gazsport@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 1997