Volume 90, Issue 80

Friday, February 14, 1997

Show Pony


Memorable moments

Most embarrassing:

My girlfriend retrieved the Nutella chocolate spread from the kitchen to enhance fellatio one night and ended up inserting my penis into the jar to have it completely chocolate coated. Things went well, yet oddly enough, she returned the jar to the kitchen cupboard where I witnessed it being used by her roommates the next morning. I can't believe they didn't notice the hole in the middle of the Nutella!

I would have to say that my most embarrassing sexual experience took place just this year. My roommate and I decided that it would be interesting to have sex in the bathtub on an air mattress. I'll have to admit, it was interesting. However, the highlight of the night was not the disappearing soap trick but rather when our third roommate innocently walked in through the apparently unlocked door. This shocking sight caused her to become lightheaded and pass out on the floor, knocking our "Elmo's Bubbly Bubbles" into the tub. Not wanting this unforeseen visitor to rain on our parade, we finished our business. The embarrassment didn't set in until she awoke 20 minutes later, saw the sight, told us she was moving out and stormed out of the room. We don't see much of her now but when we do we're always sure to tie "Elmo" into the conversation.

First time: 10 seconds. Say no more.

* * * * *

Most romantic:

The first time someone said "I love you" to me and I knew that he really meant it.

For my boyfriend's birthday, we planned a romantic evening for two. I was extremely surprised when he came to my door wearing a tie and holding flowers. As planned, we made love for the first time. It was an unforgettable night.

When he proposed, he looked terrified and I was teary eyed with emotion when I said "Of course."

My most romantic experience was my birthday with my boyfriend in Amsterdam – only we got so drunk, he fell off his bike and broke his ankle.

* * * * *

Best sexual experience:

A risky quickie on a side trail of a ski hill (we left most of our suits on!)

Spontaneously being thrown onto the hood of a car and having sex.

New Year's Eve – My boyfriend and I had sex before and after we went out and then again in the morning. Our total: 7 times.

Spontaneously pulling off the road for a picnic which turned into intense lovemaking.

Worst sexual experience:

In the bathroom sink – very uncomfortable.

* * * * *

You indicated that some of your favourite places

to do it are:

The great outdoors, including fields, parks, parking lots, beaches, forests, lakes, fishponds and Parliament Hill. Now is that a political statement or what?

School, including the Weldon Library, squash courts, Elborn College, Law Moot courtroom, the music practice rooms and the OC Dons office.

The Ikea display kitchen

Jungle gyms

The mall


The Dundas St. bus

To Contact The Features Department: gazfeat@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 1997