EDITORIAL: Puttin' on the ritz
There are only four more shopping days until Charity Ball.
That's right kids. Check your tickets carefully. The movers and shakers who make the annual event happen "request your presents (sic) on Saturday, January 25th, 1997..."
A small grammatical error or Freudian slip? You decide, but its nice to know the thought is out there in print. The Charity Ball continues to become less and less about charity (try to find the name of the benefitting charities on the invite) and more and more about the glitz, glamour and party (check the sponsors of the event it's easy, they're on the invite).
So what do you get for the people that have everything? Think of the appreciative masses who will fall all over you when you hand out your assortment of gifts to your fellow partygoers.
Here's a little list to help you out.
Dry cleaning coupons There's nothing quite like trying to get out a beer stain from a fine silk shirt. Take one bunch of nattily-clad charity revellers, some barley, hops and a dash of dancing and someone's running to the washroom for some damage repair. Also handy for those who "give a little too much at the bar" if you know what we mean...
Kraft dinner boxes A kind token gift to the community which they will cherish when they realize the money they've spent on tuxedos, dresses, limos, dinner, corsages, etc. will put a severe drain on their OSAP monies come the end of the school year. There's nothing like chewing on pre-packaged macaroni while reminiscing about good time past.
A whole wad of cash It is the Charity Ball. It would be nice to donate as much money on the charities as is spent in the process of going to the charity ball.
Ken and Barbie's Dream Date set Why just have pictures to remember the big night by? There's nothing like having the option of using plastic figurines to relive the big night in all its glory. Ken and Barbie the world's most perfect people for Western's most perfect soirée.
Air freshener Lots of people. Somewhat confined space. A deluge of dancing. A collection of colognes and perfumes intermingling in such a manner that it brings back memories of the lobby of The Bay. It all adds up to a malodorous evening. A little bit of potpourri in the air will bring smiles to all.
The Concise Oxford Dictionary It's really never too late.