Playing a boyish game
By Roxanna Kassam
A friend of mine recently called me asking for advice on guys. At the tender age of 16, she had just encountered the familiar but heartbreaking "I love you but I can't be with you" situation. "Why do they do this?" cried she, obviously vexed. "Why do boys act the way they do?"
"Nobody really knows," I said soothingly. Then, without knowing the boy or their particular situation, I proceeded to give her a detailed account and rationalization of his every move and thought during their entire relationship.
Therein lies the paradox of womanhood. Although we all claim that we don't have the foggiest notion of what the opposite sex is doing, we never hesitate to give a play-by-play explanation and analysis of their every action; always assuming males to be in the wrong and trying to subordinate us, the injured party.
So are we correct in what we claim, that we will never understand the innermost workings of the male mind, or are we correct in what we do, that is, discussing knowingly his every thought and action? The answer, of course, is the former.
Though we may seem adept in our ability to rationalize why Billy dropped his napkin at the dinner table, the truth is, we have no idea. We are approaching the situation from a female perspective. Although we may have ulterior and intelligent motives for everything we do, guys don't.
Why? Why must women isolate and analyze every action a man makes? The answer lies in that age-old concept of control. We think that by understanding a guy's actions, we can control him, thus predicting the path of our relationship. When something happens to disillusion us of this, or worse yet, to show us that maybe the guy has control, we lose it. Not being in control means anything can happen, that we are not the masters of our fate. Women of the world, wake up. We never have been. Life will go on and things will continue to happen in a random and unpredictable fashion. So go with the flow. You think Billy got a peek at your best friend's legs? Drop your fork and get a good look at his brother's tush.