Volume 91, Issue 10

Friday, September 12, 1997

frosh pit


Sprinkles are not what they appear

By James Pugsley
Gazette Staff

It bounced once, twice, three times – almost as if the world had slowed for this one brief but unforseeably important moment. Then began the rolling phase, a wobbly path lasting for only a few seconds, before it came to its final resting place, face-down on the floor of Tim Horton's.

Normally, such a situation would only spark thoughts about whether the chocolate would stick to the floor or remain on the delicious donut's torso.

But when the lady in the brown shirt and Tim's hat picked up the wounded pastry (which, for your information, maintained it's chocolatey goodness) and did not turn in the direction of the garbage can, I suddenly became a lot more interested in what I thought would be a predictable outcome.

She quickly picked up the donut and as though she believed her lightening reflexes would be faster than the eyes of caffeine-deficient customers in line, proceeded to put it back into the lineup of chocolate dips along the bottom rack.

It was the gutsiest move I had seen at Tim Horton's since the arrival of bagels – yes, they've got bagels!

The other ladies on the morning team saw the horrible accident, but instead of condemning this unsanitary act, they were quick to console their fellow coffee queen – supporting her decision to return the donut to its rightful home on the rack.

Unless the floors of Tim Horton's are lined with neutralizing cleansers and the staff wears only disinfected footwear, my guess is that chocolate dip became a contaminated donut. And if my memory serves me correctly, Mr. Horton has not introduced contaminated donuts to his otherwise fine menu.

I don't have a problem when food hits the floor, but when it does, the unwritten rule is that it becomes property of the floor. The only reason to pick up the donut would be to put it in the garbage – an object which is also property of the floor.

The point is, floor property should not be eaten, unless of course you're an insect (the licensed proprietors to the floor).

My biggest problem is with the staff who jokingly "shhusshhed" and "tee-heed" each other after the incident – as though that was the traditional response when breakfast food is dropped.

Don't get me wrong, I will still shop at Tim's to maintain my caffeine supply, but because of this astonishing act of donut distortion, I will definitely look twice at my donuts to ensure the sprinkles are real.

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Copyright The Gazette 1997