Volume 91, Issue 14

Friday, September 19, 1997

gagged


ENTERTAINMENT
 

Literary Corner

SUESS ON SEX

Have you done it without protection?
Have you done it - no erection?

Have you been ashamed to say,
"It doesn't work for me that way?"

Do you have to be in love?
Do you always use a glove?

Must your partner take a test?
Do you think you are the best?

Have you done it in a rush?
Have you ever made it gush?

Have you done it underage?
Have you done it due to rage?

Have you done it 'til you're sore?
Do you keep a running score?

Do you do it twice a day?
Good for you, it's quite okay.

Have you done it without style?
Have you not done it for a while?

Have you ever said it's bad?
Does it really make you glad?

Have you ever been called frigid?
Does your partner find you rigid?

Have you done it with another
And lied about it to your lover?

Have you ever been deceived,
About a child that's been conceived?

When you do it do you yell?
When you are touched, where do you swell?

When you are naked, are you shy?
Do you prefer it wet or dry?

Do you crave it dusk 'til dawn?
When you're busy, do you yawn?

Do you do it all alone?,br>Ever done it on the phone?

Do you ever fantasize?
Wish you were a BIGGER size?

Have you ever been in cold water,
And embarrassed at the shrinkage after?

Have you ever been discovered
Right in action, privates uncovered?

While wearing sweats has it turned firm?
Did the attention make you squirm?

Of all your friends were you the first?
Of all your partners, whose been the worst?

Do you wish that you had stopped,
Before you had your cherry popped?

Have you done it and been faking,
The ecstasy he thinks he's making?

If your sex needs to improve,
Practise, practise, get in the groove.
If all else fails, just be plucky.
Try new things and YOU'LL get lucky!

–Nadia Sapiro


To Contact The Entertainment Department: gazent@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 1997