Volume 92, Issue 54

Wednesday, December 9, 1998

and to all a goodnight


You know you've been REALLY bad when

Graphic by ©Brahm Wiseman

- The Salvation Army person spits at you when you try to make a donation

- Santa Claus feeds your bonsai tree to the reindeer

- Barbie comes attached to Ken

- When you get home from university, your parents present you with a yellow Pinto instead of the silver Porsche you asked for

- You see Santa, but he looks a lot like a pink elephant

- Your Furbie comes pre-programmed with obscene sayings

- The Tickle-Me-Elmo you got for a present last year slaps you with a harrassment suit

- You receive a one-way plane ticket to Alaska

- You find nothing but Milli Vanilli, New Kids on the Block and Vanilla Ice CDs under the tree

- You receive a gift from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police – pepper spray and handcuffs

- Bill Clinton comes down the chimney with a cigar

To Contact The Focus Department: gazette.focus@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright © The Gazette 1998