Volume 91, Issue 78

Wednesday, February 18, 1998

aspartame pop


Gazette responsible

Re: Gazette told it fucked up again and other feelings, Feb.13

To the Editor:
I would like to blame The Gazette for everything that has gone wrong in my life. I only got 70 per cent in a course last semester – obviously The Gazette's fault for not being there to report my professor's inherent lack of teaching ability. I've injured my left knee twice in four months; both times on days that I read their "daily student newspaper." I'm beginning to wonder if there is a Gazette conspiracy against me. The batteries in my bike light continually expire when I cycle at night. I'm sure the guy at Cyclepath reads The Gazette. Probably knows the editors. Probably sold me faulty batteries at their behest! The paper-cuts on my fingers are from newsprint! I thought I was going to be the next Lord of the Dance, but bloody Dunne beat me to it! I could have been the best, but The Gazette has ruined everything. Just grant me one concession, oh interfering news hounds that you are: at least let me change my name to Slade...

C.L. Birch
Arts IV

To Contact The Opinions Department: gazoped@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 1998