Volume 91, Issue 55

Wednesday, January 7, 1998

well hung


Resolution solutions

Welcome to a brand new year! You know, "out with the old, in with the new?" It's the time for students to swear by their academic aspirations, make the necessary alterations to their eating habits and, let's not forget, pay off that student loan! But just in case you need a few more realistic resolutions, The Gazette offers a few ideas to start this year off on the right foot (as pudgy as it may be after a month of eating).

1. Avoid ski slopes at all costs. Or if you must go, stay away from TREES (a generally immovable object made of wood). They can really damage your equipment.

2. Improve your marks this year – take Business 257. If you hang out with the right people, you should have the answers to the exams soon enough. After December's apparent second case of cheating in three years, Western biz school students once again show their commitment to come up with entrepreneurial ways to get the job done.

3. Book your slack week flight plans to Manitoba and Fredericton extra early this year because the planes are going down fast and the seats are limited.

4. Start saving your money for the (surprise, surprise) 20 per cent tuition hike which could take place over the next two years if the Board of Governors decides to do so (which they will, no doubt).

5. Whatever the conversation's about, especially weather, mention "El nino" at least twice. It's fun to say!

6. Try to cut back on social spending. There's only 17 days 'till the charity ball, and it's going to cost ya.

7. Try your best to get vaccinated for meningitis at Student Health Services. They are only giving shots to people who absolutely need them – and you might be the lucky one!

8. Cut back on Chumbawumba.

9. Get some use out of your USC student directory – even though by now you already have all the phone numbers you need. But the year is almost over and they only came out yesterday, so there's no time to lose!

To Contact The Editorial Department: gazed@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 1998