Volume 91, Issue 85
Wednesday, March 11, 1998
home and dry
Cliff goes nine yards
Cliff's mailbag is a weekly column which attempts to answer the myriad of questions inquiring Western students are going out of their minds trying to figure out. From Western questions, to science questions, to inane trivial nonsense intrepid Cliff will ferret out the answer...or DIE TRYING!!! Send questions to UCC, Rm. 263 c/o Cliff or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Cliff had a lot of trouble with this one. His handy idiom dictionaries offered nothing in the way of an answer. The only scrap of information he could find was mention of the Oriental regard for the number nine as a symbol of riches and wealth. This scrap was used as a possible explanation for the phrase "dressed to the nines." Interesting yes, but not enough of an answer for brave Cliffy.
Undaunted, he pressed on. Cliff took an on-ramp onto the Information Super Highway, turned left at the Pamela Anderson sex tape, passed the hopeless chat room junkies and found some useful information. Just goes to show you, even in the smelliest sewer you can still find a clever rat. Here's what he found: in the olden days, tailored suits used NINE yards of fabric. Get it? Nine yards the whole nine yards!
Bring on the next question!
Cliff sent his trusty associate Cliffette to get this answer. Cliffette asked Pat, one of the friendly Tim Horton's ladies why these donuts are different. Turns out that the shiny donuts use a chocolate glaze and the matte donuts use icing. Those wacky Tim Horton's ladies just mix things up to keep us on our toes. Hooray for variety!
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