Volume 92, Issue 25
Tuesday, October 20, 1998
coughing up debt
|ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
This whale won't splash
All Disco Dance Must End In Broken Bones
It's been four years since "Hobo Humping Slobo Babe" and about time Whale is forgiven for getting that nauseating song stuck in people's brain waves. With the new album, All Disco Dance Must End In Broken Bones, the band will have a much harder time finding the forgiveness they have been so generously granted by their audience.
Some bands manage to record an album where each song is distinct and like a jigsaw puzzle, fit in with a particular style the group can call their own. Whale is not one of those bands.
Each track sounds like a borrowed assignment for which someone never got credit. Listening to the album as a whole makes one wonder whether it is one band performing these songs or they accidentally pressed the random button on their CD player. The album would not hold even if it were drenched in crazy glue.
Whale do have some decency, though. After all, they listed the copyrights to the Chemical Brothers, Neneh Cherry and Chris Isaac, who coincidentally all belong to the same record label.
What did not get mentioned is the current single "Crying at the Airports" which sounds identical to a Portishead effort. "Roadkill" and "Feeling Free" utilize two rather popular Kurt Cobain riffs, while "Four Big Speakers" merge punk and techno like none other than the Prodigy. On top of this, the singer Cia's voice and style shadow the likes of Echobelly. What emerges is a '90s compilation album in a nutshell.
The saddest and most pathetic thing of all is that the album is actually appealing at first. The songs trick the listener into believing they are original just because they have been given a new twist and turn. Almost impossible to notice at first, the background riffs and booming basslines begin to resemble other songs and soon expose the band for who they are.
Whale proves that just like Puff Daddy, who prides himself on bastardizing pop culture, they have nothing to offer in the scope of new music and will soon find themselves in the annals of Eurotrash history.
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