Volume 92, Issue 26

Wednesday, October, 21 1998

bound and gagged


Get that dead thing outta here

Re: Dead things on campus

To the Editor:

A few days ago, I was wandering down the main path leading up UC Hill (or down UC Hill, depending on which direction you're going), when I came across an odd sight. A dead squirrel was beside the path and it was in perfect condition.

I'm used to seeing smooshed squirrels by the side of the road, but this one looked like it was just walking along, doing whatever squirrels do, when its body ceased to work. Ok, so I suppose squirrels can have heart attacks too, but it was still a bit freaky.

Anyway, I figured that within a few hours the little guy would be taken away and given a proper burial by Western's fine janitorial staff. However, when I walked by again a few hours later, it was still there, in exactly the same position as before. Ok, so nobody had noticed it yet. Fair enough. But the real shocker came when I walked past again the next day and still, nobody had taken it away.

While I personally wasn't terribly upset by the sight of the dead squirrel, I'm sure that one person out of the thousands that walk by that path every day was. You'd think that one of those garbage sucker machines could come along and suck the thing up before some squeamish person pukes on it.

This would make an even grosser mess, causing someone else to puke on it and eventually you have a chain reaction going (ever seen Stand By Me?) that could lead to a very slippery hill. I won't even mention the smell.

This letter has two points. First, whoever is in charge of removing dead things from the campus should be a little more swift in the future. Second, if you see any dead things lying around, please suppress the urge to vomit.

Mike Battista

Undeclared I

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Copyright The Gazette 1998