Volume 92, Issue 21

Thursday, October 8, 1998

far out


Turkey FAQ

Thanksgiving is traditionally a holiday which brings families together to celebrate each other's company and give thanks. The tradition has journeyed from the first settlers on the Mayflower to tables all around North America. The customary meal offers an oversized bird – generally a turkey, potatoes, cranberries, stuffing, squash, whiskey, pumpkin pie and other autumn goodies. But as modern society diversifies, some strange questions have arisen which need to be answered.

Q. Why is Thanksgiving in October?

A. It is all a matter of proper turkey distribution. One in fall, one in winter and one in spring. By summer you can't even look at turkey. Simple.

Q. What do vegetarians eat for Thanksgiving?

A. Veggie turkey or tofu turkey, which some have started calling tofurkey. A real delicacy in some circles... small circles.

Q. Do turkeys scream?

A. No, they don't. But they sure can't sleep the night before Thanksgiving.

Q. Why do some families keep the bird alive until the morning of?

A. More fun for the whole family. There's nothing more fun than chasing a gobbling bird around the backyard while your dad chants: "Get that turkey, boy or I'll get YOU!"

Q. Eating the giblets. What's with that?

A. Some families partake in eating the heart and organs of the turkey. They are the same people who think haggis is a good mid-day snack. Yummy!

Q. Why pumpkin pie?

A. Why not?

Q. Turkey leftovers. Are the possibilities endless?

A. YES! This weekend you can try... turkey pudding, turkey wrestling, turkey tea, pumpkin pie fight, who hid the rotting squash, there's turkey in my underwear or a turkey bath. All fun and nutritious.

These questions and answers are merely a sample of what really goes on and should not be taken seriously. There are many good things that can happen during the holidays so let the good times roll. Get a good rest and catch up on your reading because assignments are like fruit flies – they multiply quickly.

If you're celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend, have a great dinner with the family – if you're not, be thankful you don't have to contend with all those terrible leftovers your grandma wants to give you.

To Contact The Editorial Department: gazette.editor@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 1998