Volume 92, Issue 6
Friday, September 11, 1998
|ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
You need a new roomate when...
By Gazette Staff
Adapting to other people's strange personal habits is a true test of human strength and spirit and it will be one of hardest tests you face in your university career. Having just met your roommate, however, you may have already decided this will be the year from hell. Don't worry, it could be worse, as our list of campus-living legends suggests. Some are true and some aren't we're not telling you which is which...
1) Your room smells like dirty socks but it's not the socks.
2) Your roommate has an "L" embroidered on her sweater and INSISTS on calling you "Shirl" in an annoying New York accent.
3) He or she insists on sleeping naked and then sleepwalks.
4) They have sex with their boy/girlfriend in the bed next to you when they think you're asleep.
5) They have sex with their imaginary boy/girlfriend in the bed next to you when they think you're asleep.
6) You see your roommate on Jerry Springer.
7) Your roommate likes Showgirls and faithfully tapes Baywatch.
8) Your roommate buys an Egg McMuffin, puts it in a jar, names it "Manjinder" and keeps it for three years.
9) He has phone sex with a woman in Alaska and then fears he's gotten her pregnant.
10) Your roommate's mother moves in with you and she's cooler than your roommate.
11) Your roommate is a member of a cult and is avidly trying to recruit you.
12) On the first day of school, your new roommate announces that their New Age religion prohibits them from bathing ever.
13) As a med student, they cut up cadavers at home for extra credit.
14) Your roommate fills your dorm room with his/her teddy bear collection.
15) Your roommate thinks that he/she is Elvis reincarnated.
16) Ouryay oommateray sistsinay on peakingsay in Igpay Atinlay.
17) Your roommate is a huge Marilyn Manson fan and you like Shania Twain.
18) Your roommate fills up on chili and beans before bed and the window is jammed shut.
19) Your roommate has "Disco Forever" tattooed on his bicep with a mini John Travolta that dances when he flexes.
And finally, the most horrible fate of them all... Your roommate is a GAZETTE STAFFER!!!
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