Volume 92, Issue 6

Friday, September 11, 1998

oshfrosh b'gosh


Screw school work

Dipesh Mistry/Photo Editor

YES, YES, YES WE DO. WE'RE GONNA GET LAID THIS WEEK HOW 'BOUT YOU. Thousands of Froshies get psyched for the week at Tuesday's opening ceremonies.

By Becky Somerville & Sabrina Carinci
News Editors

Let's face it. It's inescapable that you will procrastinate at the worst of times in your hectic schedule. But since there is a limit to how much time you can waste, we thought we would save you some time by giving you the clues about how to procrastinate productively. After all, why do today what you can do tomorrow? Here are some words of wisdom, straight from the student's mouth.

_ Exercise your domestic potential by doing your laundry – wash it by hand because it takes longer. Then ask everyone on your floor if you can do their laundry too.

– Express your artistic ability and paint random objects in your room a different colour.

– Change locales – take a really, really long walk to the library. It's great exercise and it's more conducive to studying anyway, right?

– Develop your motor skills. Knitting, playing the guitar or NHL '99 not only instill worldliness and culture but are both physically and mentally stimulating.

– Feed your head – read The Gazette.

– Feed your belly – a break for caffeine or chocolate will undoubtedly prove beneficial when, upon consumption, you have so much energy you can hardly sit still.

– Smoke cigarettes – they're great for your breath and make you look really cool.

– Try computer Jeopardy – have fun and learn some cool shit at the same time.

– Take a "quick" trip to The Spoke or the Wave. You deserve a break!

– Thought you would never use that grade 12 math? Order 10 pizzas from 3-for-1 and try to hypothesize what will happen.

– Expand your vocabulary and read your roommates thesaurus.

– Drink! Oddly enough 341 mL arm curls are great exercise and frequently induce humorous insight and conversation.

– Call everyone in your little black book. This will ultimately maximize your social life and give you more time to "study" later on.

– Check for pin holes in your eyelids.

– Choke the chicken, awake the wizard etc.

– Dust your room. You never know when you'll have a visitor with a violent, sexual attraction to dust bunnies.

– Browse the internet for essay ideas and since you're already logged on why not check out the new Star Trek porn site.

– Learn a new language. Try watching Three's Company dubbed in Spanish.

– Develop new recipes with the crap left over in your beer fridge.

– Organize your desk– again.

– Sleep. Sleep. Sleep

To Contact The News Department: gazette.news@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 1998