Volume 92, Issue 10

Friday, September 18, 1998

cheque please


Doing lines

As the first full week of classes come to a close, first-year and upper-year students alike have probably noticed the need to battle the countless lines around campus. For everything from books to your morning coffee, you've probably had to take a few minutes out of your day to stand in those awful lines.

Since we here at The Gazette sympathize with you, the average student, we've compiled a brief list to assist you in getting what you want, without having to wait.

Sing Hanson songs – The radio versions of their songs are bad enough that if you start singing them they'll be unbearable and people will have to leave. Whammo, you're at the front of the line.

Start a friendly game of leap frog – Convince everyone they need something to do while waiting in line. Make sure you go first and when you reach the front say you don't want to play any more.

Turn around and face the other way – Needless to say, now you're at the front of the line.

Yell there's a black BMW with its lights on – A mass exodus will occur. If there are still people in the line wait 30 seconds and then say the same thing but substitute Jeep for BMW.

Ask people if they have their ticket – Those in front of you will get so confused they will leave and then search for hours for how to buy their ticket. This is especially funny when waiting in line at Tim Horton's.

Make farting noises with your armpit – While doing this complain about that Mexican food you had for lunch. If this doesn't work actually fart. That will work for sure but make sure you have ammo before – Taco Bell works wonders.

Just walk to the front of the line – Make sure you thank the first person in line for holding your spot.

Yell as loud as you can that the Backstreet Boys are outside – Once most of the line leaves, yell again. This time say it's the Spice Girls.

Borrow a sorority girl's clothes – Hey, it works for them at bars. Sorry guys, you're out of luck on this one.

Start complaining about that fungus that's growing on your body – Ask people if they want to see it.

Flick the hair of the person in front of you – Do it until they leave. Repeat process several times until you've reached the front of the line.

To Contact The Editorial Department: gazette.editor@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 1998