Volume 92, Issue 77
Friday, February 12, 1999
The good, the bad, the ugly... Airing your dirty laundry
Surprise, surprise, you're not the only one who doesn't have perfect movie sex. These are some of Western's worst and most embarrassing encounters.
"Sex with my girlfriend in a daycare parking lot when several parents showed up (she worked there)."
"The partner I was with at the time decided we should do a quickie, but I never got to go to the washroom first. During it he pressed on my bladder and it made me release some pee. That was very embarrassing!"
"Getting busted getting oral sex from a girl in a movie theatre. Then the person made a big stink as we were thrown out."
"Having sex on an airplane and getting caught by a stewardess."
"I was so nervous the first time I was about to give my boyfriend head that my stomach was turning. I decided to try it and I ended up choking and I puked all over him. He saw a lot more of me than he expected (including my macaroni and cheese from dinner earlier)."
"When I got caught having sex with a girl on her parent's couch by her mother. It was worse because it was only the second date."
"Finding a nude picture of myself on someone's web site."
"I was so drunk and high one night I partied and fooled around with one girl who eventually fell asleep. Lying in the bed wondering what to do next, I went home where another party was taking place. I asked one of the girls to come with me, we got naked and fooled around and this time I passed out. Needless to say she left me in the same position I had passed out in, only to have my friends walk by me in the morning and see me naked."
"In a washroom."
"My boyfriend and I came home drunk from a bar and I had forgotten I was on my period when I stripped down, but I quickly remembered and informed him. He said he didn't care, but I did because I know he doesn't like it after. Anyway, before I knew what was going on, he pulled my tampon out and threw it across the room. Later on he came back into the room, crawled into bed and whined to me about there being a bloody tampon on the floor and asked if I would do something about it."
"My worst sexual experience was with some guy on Labour Day weekend two years ago. He invited me over when he was having a party and we ended up in his room. He was high on ecstasy and maybe pot as well and had been drinking a lot too. Most people should know how this story might end now. We attempted to have sex for over an hour and thank God he finally gave up after catching me check the time for the third time."
Ever wonder what people are thinking about during class? Read the following and wonder no more. These are just a few of the fantasies being had by the student body...
"Believe it or not, done 'em all."
"Put honey on my body, then he licks it all up."
"To do it with two guys at once."
"To be a nude model on a deserted island stranded with one hunk of a photographer!"
Copyright © The Gazette 1999