Volume 92, Issue 63

Wednesday, January 20, 1999

elmer the elephant


Editorial Board 1998-99

Drunken thoughts

Editorial Cartoon

Drunken thoughts

Ladies and gentlemen, a new pinnacle of senselessness has been reached.

A scapegoat has been found and efforts are being considered to not allow bars in London – which only exist to provide a destination for people planning to take part in their weekly stabbing rituals – to serve alcohol past 1 a.m..

The perfect answer to the problem of bar goers stabbing each other over a cab after getting a little drunk at one of London's fine establishments is no doubt to cut them off before they can reach that inebriated state, which of course only occurs in the hour leading up to 2 a.m..

And that's not the only benefit. All other crime in the downtown area will be instantly erased. London will save millions because the city won't need a police force.

Maybe it's time to welcome London Mayor Dianne Haskett back to reality.

She claims not shutting down the kegs until 2 a.m. instead of 1 a.m. as was done several years ago, causes problems within the student community by being a source for more bar-room brawls. Apparently, Haskett can't remember what it was like when she was a student. Here's a memory refresher – brawls always happen with students and there are always members of this community who get excessively drunk. Nothing short of prohibition is going to stop people from over-drinking.

Changing last call will only succeed in putting less money in people's pockets. One less hour per night for a bar in business means one less hour per night in wages and tips for students and other Londoners who support themselves working at any of the city's bars or clubs.

Making local establishments which serve alcohol safer will not occur through a quick fix. Bars have to take it upon themselves to make the climate for their patrons safer by using metal detectors and the police have to take make similar moves by stepping up police patrols. To some extent this has been done but not to the level it should be.

There is a real problem in London right now which has been brought under the microscope because of the most recent occurrence of two stabbings in the area of Richmond and York streets. This problem did not stem from alcohol being served past 1 a.m..

Michael Goldie-Ryder, a 20-year-old who was just out for a night at the bar, died last night not because of Ichabods serving alcohol until 2 a.m.. He died because his attacker brought a knife with him when he went out last Friday night – a decision which was most likely made in a sober mind-set.

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Copyright The Gazette 1999