Volume 92, Issue 65

Friday, January 22, 1999


Editorial Board 1998-99

Presidential hopefuls

Editorial Cartoon

Presidential hopefuls

With the applications for University Students' Council president ending today and the list of candidates becoming more apparent, we thought it might be helpful to suggest a few candidates who may surprise students around campus by running for the presidency. The Gazette is in no way endorsing these potential candidates, should they choose to run.

Preston Haynes – As part of his platform, Haynes would promise to never let anyone get in his way in his quest to hunt down wrong-doers at Western. His school spirit does, however, tend to get a bit out of control at times.

Bill Clinton – In a short time, Clinton may be in need of a new presidential position. Western's campus, however, with its youthful student population, may not be the right setting for Clinton's way of working. Still, we heard he's pushing for an increase in oral exams.

Sheila Copps – Copps would be sure to Hustle up a lot of votes after recent exposure in an international publication.

Jean Chretien – Among other tactics he's hiding up his sleeve, Chretien would promise to pepper-spray administration into submission.

Albert – In the race of all races, Albert is certain to be the best candidate running. He's definitely shown more than enough Western spirit.

Rick McGhee – As if his notoriety for endurance and ability to do repetitive tasks isn't enough, McGhee is a great presidential candidate as he does requests, no questions asked. And when the year is done he'll be "Leaving on a Jet Plane" with his "Brown Eyed Girl."

Western President Paul Davenport – Davenport would be a dedicated USC president. Oops, he can't do it. He'll be in France.

London Mayor Dianne Haskett – Haskett might, if she ran, promise to close all campus bars by 8 p.m., put an end to sexuality studies at Western and have all students in bed by the time the streetlights come on. Big bonus – milk and cookies for everyone at the victory party.

Mustang football coach Larry Haylor – Along with his excellent abilities as a leader, Haylor will step down every time things get a little hot.

Conrad Black – Following his checkered history as a publisher, Black would probably give The Gazette more freedom than it currently has from the USC.

Ian Armour – He doesn't really want to leave such a comfy position – he's still got half a box of business cards to give out.

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Copyright The Gazette 1999