Volume 93, Issue 5

Friday, June 11, 1999


Editorial Board 1999-2000

Leafs presence finally felt

Editorial Cartoon

Leafs presence finally felt

Western caught a bit of celebrity fever this week, oddly enough, eating a Mr. Sub combo.

Toronto Maple Leaf centre Mike Johnson was spotted on Tuesday, grabbing some lunch at CentreSpot in the University Community Centre. While we're not sure exactly why he decided to visit campus, we did come up with a few possibilities.

1. Reeling from their loss in the semi-finals to Buffalo, Johnson was still desperately looking for the net.

2. He heard he could score really easily at Western.

3. Graduating arts students were applying through him for jobs as professional skate tiers.

4. He heard about Country Club U and thought he could catch a good round of golf.

5. When the Air Canada Centre ran out of toilet paper, he thought he could swipe a couple of degrees to wipe his ass with.

6. He figured with his salary, he could now actually afford tuition.

7. To visit the concrete beach – the groupies at Maple Leaf Gardens weren't wearing short enough skirts.

8. He came to crash the convocation tents – hey, who wouldn't show up for free juice and cookies.

9. Upon arrival he remained in CentreSpot, perplexed by the realization his meal cost more than his equipment.

10. He didn't know it was crappy, crappy London Ontario. This place is so boring. Oh God.

11. A natural mistake, he got confused between forums – Montreal and Fabulous.

12. The Leafs sent him to enrol the team in Western's latest kinesiology course, How To Use Power Plays To Score On The OTHER Team 101.

13. Always thinking, he figured he'd have better luck dominating London Mayor Dianne Haskett than Dominik Hasek.

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Copyright The Gazette 1999