Volume 93, Issue 1

Friday, May 14, 1999


NATO's bombs keep the peace?

Spring's here: time to kick ass

Spring's here: time to kick ass

Re: Taxi-kickers

To the Editor:

Open letter to the frat-boy jack-offs who kicked the passenger door of the taxi cab I was about to ride in this past Saturday night after leaving Joe Kool's.

Ah, spring has sprung and a young man's thoughts turn to ass-kicking. It seems to make perfect sense. The football season is long over and we're still months away from training camp in August. You have to get your aggression out in some way. I understand that your small brains can't focus your energy on something productive and picking a fight after a hearty night of drinking is the only thing your imagination can muster.

I can't help but wonder why you chose me and my group of friends to "stare down" as we entered the cab. Was it because there were just three of us to your six? Was it because our outfits clashed with your perfectly picked out ensembles from The Gap? You know, the ones you saw the mannequins at the store wearing. Maybe it was because you think it somehow proves your manhood.

The part I liked best during the whole confrontation was that you decided to kick the taxi just as the police pulled up behind us. That was a very daring, if not stupid, move. I could tell by the looks on your faces that the lecture you received from the officer was all a big joke to you. I'm sure you're already regaling your friends with the story of your vicious door kicking and subsequent "escape" from the long arm of the law. Maybe it will go down in frat-boy jack-off lore as "The Legend of the Taxi Kick."

So go ahead and put another notch in your khakis, my brave taxi-kicking adversaries. You have made the giant evolutionary leap from oaf to moron. Your parents must be proud.

Bradley T. Hughes
Toronto, Ontario

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Copyright The Gazette 1999