Volume 93, Issue 34

Friday, October 29, 1999


11 senaotrs stand tall after election

Incumbent tops BOG votes again

Western told, it takes money to get money

The stadium's last hurrah

Up the down staircases of UWO

Ownership of research a cause for debate in UCC


Caught on campus

Up the down staircases of UWO

By Clayton Dion

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find your classroom.

I may be fairly new here, but who the hell designed the physical layouts of these buildings? I must confess, I've really only explored University and Talbot Colleges, but come on. Did Western employ a monkey when they designed these buildings and assigned the room numbers?

I'm sure I'm not the only one who might expect the numbers of rooms to follow sequentially. Is placing all the odd numbers on one side of the hall and the evens on the other too much to ask? Perhaps it's just because I've only been primarily in the arts buildings. Maybe they are just more, let's say, creative than the math or science buildings.

Apparently one aspect of the monkey's plan was to number rooms which have no need for numbers. Do students need to know that the men's washroom is number 382? Wouldn't a simple "Men" and "Women" sign on different doors (this isn't Ally McBeal), have done the trick? And having this knowledge will not help any, since it is sandwiched between Rooms 327 and 395. This numbering is taken so far, I half expect to enter the men's room and discover the urinals labelled "1" and the stalls "2" or, more likely, "1" and "32."

Another interesting design our simian came up with are the staircases which don't lead anywhere. I have a class this semester in the UC labyrinth Room 384. There are, to my knowledge, four main staircases in UC – South, Mid-South, Mid-North and North.

Trying the South staircase, I managed to gain access to the third floor. Not the whole third floor though, just the South end – excluding access to the area where Room 384 resides.

From here, I returned to the second floor and found the Mid-South staircase, which apparently terminates before it begins. I moved all the way down to the bottom floor expecting maybe I would find a magical elevator, capable of taking me to the elusive Room 384, or perhaps 384 was on the bottom floor – who knows?

Instead, I found the North staircase, which did lead to the third floor. Happily, I mounted the steps and found myself on another small portion of the floor, complete with several small offices but no Room 384. I began to feel that the registrar was playing some form of elaborate joke on me. Like having to line up three times to get a student card – once for the card, once to pay fees and obtain validation certificate and again to obtain the bus pass.

I then returned back down the staircase and entered the second floor where I found the Mid-North staircase, which may be accessed from the second or third floors, but not from the bottom floor or two-thirds of the third floor.

Just for fun, I thought I would give this staircase a try and much to my surprise, I found it terminated on the third floor, quite close to Room 385! I was so happy to find the room, I began to weep.

But the tears of joy were soon replaced by laughter as I found others looking for Room 387. Silly fools.

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Copyright The Gazette 1999