Campus rec, a pain in the neck
Canada introduces the "gay clause"
O-week: on both sides of the hill
Time in line feelin' fine
Time in line feelin' fine
Culture shock is a frightening thing. A new environment filled with strange buildings, stranger people and new rules is enough to frighten even the bravest of souls. So how, you may ask, does this affect me?
As a third-year upperclassman, I've had to deal with three frosh weeks, only one of which as an active participant. From this experience, I've garnered a deep-seated annoyance for all things frosh-related, including many frosh themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a stereotypical detester of the O-week festivities, crucifying all participants for their lemming-like submission to authority. I've learned that an occasional reaming from superiors is necessary to keep the gears of my own agenda greased and lubed.
In fact, it is because of my desire to "keep on truckin'" that I have so many problems with this university's frosh week. A week filled with exciting diversions should not be laden with so many roadblocks. The fact that the suits at Western choose to set up so many different mandatory chores for students the first week of classes is a boner of Diggler-esque proportions.
O-week is supposed to be a utopian time for both frosh and upperclassmen it's when you experience the wacky hijinks university has to offer.
However, the time is not spent in communal ecstasy. Instead, it's spent in lines. The first memory one receives of their time at Western is watching their life slowly slip away in lock-step formation.
Do you think for one moment it isn't totally feasible to include things like your bus pass and Ontario Student Assistance Program brochures with the course packages mailed in August? Should you really have to stand in hour-long lineups to utter the words, "I want to opt-out of the University Students' Council health plan?"
The seemingly endless procedures one is forced to endure should spurn action. Don't you realize lines are stealing your life away? Much like a little old lady stabbing a robber with a paring knife, the mightier-than-thou authorities who run this institution are murdering you with tiny jabs and small pricks.
There is a way out of this lion's den and it starts with you. We, as the lifeblood of this institution, need to band together and vow to use our imposed time of sentence to its full capacity.
Fortunately, this is an easy feat to accomplish. Haul a small minibar atop a little red wagon behind you in the OSAP line and feel free to drink to your heart's content. Invite attractive peers in line to adjourn to a couch in the Centre Spot lounge while you wait.
And if discovered and prosecuted, take comfort in the fact that a day in jail is still more fun than waiting in line.