Volume 93, Issue 14

Wednesday, September 22, 1999


Editorial Board 1999-2000

Just fitting in

Just fitting in

Western's many clubs have once again graced the confines of the University Community Centre with their presence during clubs week – well, most of them anyway.

In an era of cutbacks and budget restraints, some clubs were actually denied their club status and segregated from the rest of the pack. These rebel organizations, however, will be running underground memberships. So before you join the rest, see the best.

The University of Huron College Club

Membership actually begins upon graduation, when diploma holders will answer a skill testing question on whether they have a university degree or college diploma.

The Pseudo Fraternity/Sorority Club

Upon joining, members will take their time (not rush) as past members pay each newcomer $500 and be their friend on the basis of what kind of people they are on the inside.

The Western Engineer Balloon Tossing Club

Joining this club is a 36 hour time commitment and fees will cover a bag of balloons and purple surgical dye. Warning – some members could have their membership suspended due to poor aim and judgment.

The London Downtown Club

Members will learn horrible pick up lines and have access of up to three substitute livers. After bank accounts and brain cells disappear, they will be given a complimentary bus ticket to their respective home towns.

The Britney Spears Boob Job Club

Usually recruiting young girls who have fast tracked through high school, members will be given the choice of C, D, or E cup sizes while dressing in school girl outfits to keep all the dirty old men busy.

The Concrete Beach Club

Before joining, members should have a wardrobe equal in value to current tuition levels. Once in, the club will walk up and down the beach either talking on cell phones or repeating how "totally stupid the T.A. totally was."

The Western BookStore Club

After maxing every student's credit card, members will take part in instructional sessions teaching how to really abuse university based monopolies. Senior members of the club will advance to lectures on world domination.

The Rick McGhie Club

Young males need not apply. The club is only open to older men who refuse to let their glory days go. Meetings are weekly, where members will be required to chug back as many beers as it takes to get on the table and sing four rounds of "Leaving on a Jet Plane" without any shame. Lyrics will be provided.

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Copyright The Gazette 1999