Volume 93, Issue 16

Friday, September 24, 1999


Weekend Pass

Veda Hille nibbles on humble pie

Smashers work for a fun planet

Type-O gives metal life

Adaptation not pride of Stratford

Chicago maps out its own soundscape

The good, the bad and the just there




By Mark Pytlik and Luke Rundle
Gazette Staff

This latest installment of Dot.Com focuses on the not-so talked about electronic addresses on the web. You know, the ones which should come delivered in a plain brown envelope. Yes kids, we're about to talk a little sex. Sex toys, that is. Kinky.

Perhaps one of the most inventive ideas to come along in years is the concept of the synthetic partner, or the "love doll" in laymen's terms. What better for a generation that has embraced an artificial culture in terms of sight and sound than a little piece of manufactured pie?

The cure for many lonely hearts can be found at the RealDoll web site (www.RealDoll.com), a California-based company who specializes in what they deem to be "the world's greatest artificial love doll." The doll can be custom crafted to the purchaser's individual tastes, no pun intended. Although the cost of these silicone-skinned beauties runs a tad steep (around $5,000), supporters will likely feel their ends justify the means.

For the closet handyman in you, check out the web site of a company called Rectaltronics (www.rectaltronics.com), who specialize in high-tech nether region tools. Although the site features quite an extensive line of personal massagers and other apparel, their main export is their award-winning line of buttplugs. These are modeled to the exact specifications of the customer, with a process they have trademarked as FudgeForm.

With model names such as the "Interrogator," "Hindenburg" and the "Edison," which features a large bulbous head which gently heats as well as illuminates, Rectaltronics has certainly cornered the bottom end market.

For those gents out there a little concerned with, erm, the measure of your manhood, perhaps it'd be in your best interests to check out Erecxel erection enhancement products (www.penimax.com).

Among other things, Erecxel offers erection enhancement bands, which will supposedly will give you the "hardest, strongest and longest lasting" erection you've ever had. And trust us – nothing turns a RealDoll on more than a man with dynamite staying power.

If you're looking for more ways to prolong your performance, you might look into other products offered by Erecxel. These wonders include Contrex ejaculation bands (to prevent the ill-timed misfire), the Magnavac (you guessed it – a good old-fashioned penis pump) and Vigormax, a "dietary supplement" which will supplement more than your diet.

And lastly, if you're more into partying than staying in, you might benefit from the Penis Pinata, conveniently offered at www.provocativepinatas.com. Spurned women (and men) are invited to spend the night "whacking your Penis Pinata with a big stick." Just be careful. Apparently these things are "packed with an assortment of adult novelties, candy and surprises that fly all over the place when you score the winning blow."

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Copyright The Gazette 1999