Volume 93, Issue 68

Tuesday, February 1, 2000


The Arm reached way too far

Ceeps not the real criminal

Please stop letting the days go by

Frat beliefs inaccurate, misguided

Please stop letting the days go by

It's the most wonderful time of the year. The time of year, when one must apply chapstick to their rear end to ward off the chafing, brought on by constant ass-kissing.

The time of year, when everyone wants to be your friend and promises are made, but rarely kept. Yes, it's time again for another batch of presidential defendants to step in front of the jury and prove their worthiness to be University Students' Council president.

The trial's initial days leave much to be desired.

At first, it appeared we could be in for a war of attrition. The first two days saw two candidates pack it in. First, Graham Heaton decided his heart just wasn't into it and then VP-campus issues Perry Monaco decided to call it quits. While Heaton's departure was far from earth-shaking, Monaco's surprised a great deal of the pundits.

Here he was, possibly the USC's ace in the hole – their golden boy who gave this year's Board of Director's the chance to carry on their legacy and affect next year's council. Then, out of the blue, after all the talk and speculation, he was gone.

With the two dropouts, the jury is left to determine the fates of 10 defendants of varying quality and respectability. While front-runners are sure to emerge in this all important campaign week, the entire gang should be found guilty of failure to run a successful, early campaign.

When an election period consists of a precious two weeks, mistakes must be kept to a minimum and candidates must be ready to sprint as soon as the gun goes off. Instead, most jogged out of the blocks, while others simply tripped and fell. The extreme lack of promotional material, be it posters, cards, or otherwise was disturbing.

The kids aren't going to vote for you, if they don't have your name engraved in their foreheads. Only 3,000 people took the time to vote last year and that number isn't going to improve if the defendants don't start pleading their cases a little more vehemently.

The one constant among the 10 candidates has been their extreme lack of visibility on campus. By Friday afternoon, only hours before the first media forum, only four candidates had been able to provide The Gazette with their platform material. I now know what it's like to be a high school teacher asking about last night's homework only to hear "my dog ate it" or "my printer isn't working properly."

These 10 young men are, in theory, supposed to be the brightest and best our student body has to offer. If this is the case, our student scholars and young minds leave much to be desired. How on earth do you hope to convey your desire to help the student body when you can't even photocopy a few colourful sheets with your ideas on them in time for the beginning of the campaign?

What is, on paper, a two week campaign period has become a week and a half long trial. It's as if our presidential candidates have failed to realize the winner of this game gets the keys to a multi-million dollar corporation. The campaign may be short, but it is vastly important.

As our trial nears its mid-point, it appears the defendant we place in jail – I mean office, may be an individual covered in reasonable doubt.

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Copyright The Gazette 2000