Volume 93, Issue 75

Friday, February 11, 2000


Braun walks away with presidential gold

Close but no USC cigar

New blob discovered in Thames

Toll systems looked at to improve 401 safety

Seven days from heaven on earth



Caught on campus

Seven days from heaven on earth

Clayton Dion
Gazette Columnist

Reading week ain't for just readin' no more.

T-minus seven days until reading week is upon us. One glorious week when I should be able to survive without the support of my seven large double doubles per day addiction. With this in mind, I feel I should do my duty and provide possible activities for those starved with a need for something to do.

1. Read. Just kidding – but it might be a good time to find out how many of your texts have been made into movies. Sorry math guys, I have yet to see "Complex Analysis: The Untold Story" at my local Blockbuster. However, you can't spend all your life studying. You've got to live a little.

2. Live a little. Take a trip, see the rest of the world, expand your mind by observing other cultures. You'll learn more by immersing yourself in a culture then by simply studying it in a small room in southern Canada.

All of the above are good lines to incorporate into your speech when you ask your parents for money for the trip. Make sure to explain that you are not interested in studying such things as the mating habits of penguins in the Arctic, discovering how cold it is in Serbia, or determining exactly where Calcutta's black hole is.

However, good cultures to study and learn from in mid-February include: Jamaican culture, Hawaiian culture, Mexican culture, or any Caribbean island culture. Anything with a beach will do.

3. Watch The Beach. You know you've been desperately waiting to see Leo again since his unfortunate demise in Titanic. Or, for those of you without the Leo-love (i.e. most of us) go see some other movie.

February is when major movie studios release huge flicks, such as Scream 3 (in the third movie of a trilogy all bets are off, the movie no longer has to scare, amuse or even entertain because you'll pay anyway); Supernova (in the space of an empty theatre, no one can hear you scream while running from the movie); Down to You (she's all those 10 things I hate about Dawson's Creek); or Isn't She Great (answer: no). Frankly, they're scraping the bottom of the barrel.

4. Scrape the bottom of your fridge. It's almost spring, why not finally do the cleaning you've been putting off since September? That thing in your refrigerator isn't likely to grow up and become a housekeeper, so you might want to take action yourself.

5. Go home. This is only if you've exhausted other possible option, such as picking lice off of circus monkeys.

The family will be so happy to see you that they'll offer to do your laundry, cook you grand meals, buy you gifts and pamper your every need – but only until the second day. Then you'll start to see they have once again managed to exert their power and domination over every fibre of your being. Or perhaps you'll have a lovely time – every family's different.

Whatever you decide to do, enjoy yourself, because it's just seven short days and then you'll be back here, staring down exams, tests, lectures, assignments, presentations, tutorials, books, notes... screw it, I'm going to bed.

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Copyright The Gazette 2000