Volume 93, Issue 71

Friday, February 4, 2000


Media presses candidates

Council investment lets the show go on

North America should go Euro

Library looks for new home

Sutton sets sights on strong leadership


Caught on campus

North America should go Euro

By Andy J. Gidwani

London needs more art galleries, especially if it wants to project an image of being a high class cultural town.

In Europe, no city is complete without an art gallery that charges $25 per visit, with waiting lines that extend into neighboring countries. In order to obtain fine art, public officials in London could buy paintings from unsuspecting Europeans with counterfeit money:

Public official: That's a nice Picasso. I'd like to buy it from you.

European sucker: Well, I dunno. How much?

Public official: I've got a $500 bill right here. Take it.

European sucker: (Takes money and runs away) The joke's on you! It's really a Van Gogh!

Alternatively, the officials could go to Europe and rip the paintings off the walls and take them back here, but I think that would be illegal.

Another striking difference between North America and Europe is the attitude towards smoking. Here it's seen as a disgusting, filthy habit that will eventually kill you.

In Europe, many people see smoking as a refined, stylish habit that will eventually kill you. These days, many people are concerned with curbing the amount of smoking going on. As a result, there have been many initiatives to stop smoking.

One method has been to cut down the amount of public places in which smoking is allowed. Smoking is absolutely banned in hospitals, on the grounds that it kills you. They're always wallowing in sentiment, those hospital people.

There has also been talk of criticism from restaurant and bar owners. One was quoted as saying "This is absolutely ridiculous. I spent $32 on these ashtrays. Now what the hell am I supposed to do with them? And don't even get me started on these little paper matchbooks we keep. They don't even light. Say, you wanna buy some ashtrays?"

So you can see, the argument has become quite compelling.

Another method to discourage smoking has been the use of warning labels on cigarette packages. There are many different messages including, "Cigarettes cause cancer" and "La cigarette cause le cancer."

As an added deterrent, the government is considering putting pictures of damaged lungs and other smoking related conditions on cigarette packages. This means every time you buy a package of cigarettes, you'll see a lung that looks as if it was used to shovel coal.

I'm sure this doesn't strike everyone as the best thing to look at, so I've got a better idea. Instead of using pictures of lungs, start labelling packages of cigarettes with pictures of famous art. This would save the government millions in counterfeit money alone.

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Copyright The Gazette 2000