Volume 93, Issue x

Wednesday, March 18, 1999


Get it right before you write

Romantic advice for the lovelorn

Love letter to home and native land

Romantic advice for the lovelorn

To the Editor:

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, Cupid's arrow is tauntingly out of sight.

Why is it so hard to meet that special someone? Some turn to singles ads or bars, but others see ads as a desperate grasp for creating romance and the bar scene as strictly a place to have a good time. So, what is there to do?

Why can't love be simple? Why can't a guy just walk up to a girl he thinks is attractive and ask her out? It's not that difficult. Guys don't realize how easy they have it. I don't know ANY girls who would turn down a man who asked her out. Have you guys forgotten how to do it?

I'm writing this letter to give all those single guys out there a gentle shove. Don't be afraid – you'll never know unless you try.

You can do it one of two ways – romantically or casually. Using the romantic route, a guy could, for example, come up to a cute girl in the library and ask if the seat next to her is taken. She'll say, "no" and he'll sit down, get all of his books out and steal a few glances in her direction all the while.

After a few moments, he could look at her and pay her a compliment, such as "I like your hair," "You have pretty eyes," or even more daring, "I saw you from across the room. Has anyone ever told you how stunning you are?" OK, let's not go overboard here – be sure not to use any dumb pickup lines, because women hate them. They're an immediate turn off.

Instead, be sincere and simply start a conversation. A compliment is good because it serves not only as an ice-breaker, but it also lets her know you're interested. After that, it's all downhill. It's that easy.

If the romantic route is still too intimidating, try the casual route. Same library scenario, except this time, instead of paying her a compliment, you either ask a question or make a comment. For example, "Can I borrow your pen?" "What are you reading?" or "It's busy in here today."

Remember, the romantic route is easier on you because it immediately lets her know you're interested. The casual route is more subtle, so you will probably only pose the question as an ice-breaker, but there is still more chemistry-building to be done. By chemistry-building, I don't mean that you're forcing it, I just mean that you're feeling it out – seeing if it's there to be pursued. Therefore, after the question or comment, you may want to look over at her, smile and/or start a conversation.

With all this in mind, in the end, all it takes is one simple question – "What are you doing this Friday night?" It's that easy, guys. What are you waiting for? Look around the room you're in right now, spot an attractive female and try it out. I dare you. What have you got to lose?

Melissa Johari
Honours Psychology III

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