Volume 93, Issue 60

Tuesday, January 18, 2000


Romantic advice for the romance advisor

Grand chasm can be filled with truthfulness

Grand chasm can be filled with truthfulness

Women may be from Venus, but one would have to travel much further than Mars to find the men.

The more I listen to people, it becomes increasingly clear a chasm exists between the sexes which makes the Grand Canyon look like a moat. It seems that for many, finding a satisfactory mate is a challenge of astronomical proportions.

On the surface, men and women co-exist quite nicely. They smile, they nod, they exchange pleasantries and at the end of the evening, they have no clue. Bubbling right beneath this exterior is a confusion, helplessness and bitterness which is quite staggering.

I have been in conversation with women who would like to see "man-bashing" introduced as a demonstration sport in the next Olympic Games. As far as they're concerned, men are a little less baffling than a Rubik's Cube.

Similarly, most guys find the procedures and policies of Western's administration to be less cryptic than women.

However, like addicts scrambling for the next hit, we're always up for more. No matter how many times our species is knocked down by the opposite sex, regardless of the "bashing" and vitriol, there is something which compels us to make a connection.

So what's the common denominator in this great divide? Is there a ledge which the sexes can cling to?

I think there is – communication and honesty.

But wait, I have to qualify this assessment. These two concepts are paid more lip service than a sorority girl at a kegger. The problem is, too often, people preach these policies without practicing them.

Many people believe these two ideas are the keys to a successful relationship. However, in the same breath, these very people turn around and sulk for the next hour over something their significant other has done (or hasn't done) all the while hoping said person notices and asks, "What's wrong honey?" just so they can reply with a frustrated sigh, "Nothing, I'm fine."

There's something wrong with this scenario. Why do people insist on playing mind games with one another? I'm no psychologist, but I am fairly certain that healthy relationships are not built on a foundation of this nature.

Here's something we can all try. Speak your mind. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts but, ultimately, is it not better than manipulation, half-truths or silence?

I would much rather know what's on someone's mind than waste my time figuring it out.

Know what I mean?

To Contact The Opinions Department:

Copyright The Gazette 2000