Volume 94, Issue 4

Friday, June 9, 2000


NEWS

All's quiet on the Windsor front

Coroner releases rave report

USC to branch out with for-profit arm

Police stand-off ends in tragedy

Walking to find a cure for diabetes

Prelude to an election

Protestors clash with the pepper spray

A world without the Hart House

Corroded Disorder

Prelude to an election



The Slacker House Rules
Chris Lackner
News Editor



Political elections. They are the modern circus: clowns, lions, and trapeze artists battling in a swirl of sight, sound and colour.

Speaking of carnival atmosphere, let's look at the Canadian Alliance leadership race, which the Canadian press has apparently deemed to be the second coming of Christ.

The Alliance race is a fun little political drama, as questions surround the three major candidates. Preston Manning: the cowboy of Western Canada, attempting to re-invent the Reform party with the Alliance and putting his heralded leadership on the line. Stockwell Day: despite his social conservative views, he has emerged as the media darling of the race. Tom Long: Ontario's backroom boy trying to thrust himself on to the national political stage. Amid the theatrics, the criticisms, the agenda and the hype, people have failed to realize one thing: none of it matters.

Ontario. The promised land. Manning has tried to make in-roads into our beloved province for the last two federal elections. He couldn't do it in 1993 or 1997 and if he retains party leadership he will fail again. The new wardrobe, and the more stylish haircut are not enough to fool Canadian voters.

Stockwell Day is a charismatic and intelligent speaker and his youthful image will appeal to voters. However, we live in times which push for acceptance, not intolerance. Day's intolerance of everything from gays and abortion to bunny rabbits will never sell to liberal Ontario. If Day leads the party it will receive a maximum of 15 seats in the province. Bottom line: just not enough.

Tom Long? Ontario's son? Despite announcing he has garnered 6000 party memberships in Quebec (one gets the impression he hired the local girl-guides to hand them out on the streets), he has little hope of obtaining the leadership. The West, which still contains the majority of Alliance members, will never vote for Long. He's too slick, he's too smooth, and people fear he's Bay Street's bitch. If he overcomes the odds and wins the leadership, Chretien will have reason to be scared. Tom has the only real shot of accomplishing anything in Ontario.

How about the New York Senate race? My first insight: does anyone realize that Hillary has benefited more from infidelity then any public figure in modern politics. During Clinton's first term, the public was against Hillary for coming across as a cold-hearted activist. When Bill got caught with his pants down she re-invented herself as a warmer, supportive first lady. Let's jump ahead to the Senate race; Hillary was up against the New York's infallible Mayor Rudy Giulani. Giulani's image is tarnished by the revelation of an affair and the break-up of his marriage. The affair combined with his health problems and Giulani's got out of the race. Hillary Clinton is now close to a sure thing. First question: I wonder if Clinton lent Rudy his cigar box? Second question: if a few more people in her life start screwing around do you think Hillary could wake up one morning as President?


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Copyright The Gazette 2000