Volume 95, Issue 53

Wednesday, December 5, 2001
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Making a list

Editorial Cartoon

Editorial Board 2001-2002

Making a list

We're still waiting on the snow and sleigh bells, but it certainly is the time of year when old St. Nick is deciding whose been naughty and whose been nice.

Come Christmas Day, no matter what secrets you think remain in your closet, the fat man will know. You can't hide that one drunken night with the hooker or the day you cheated on your biology exam.

Here at The Gazette, we have also taken it upon ourselves to judge who has been and naughty and nice during the past year.

Why? Because we have a newspaper and you don't.


Osama bin Laden: you think he ravaged the United States? You haven't seen what he did to the Afghan livestock.

The naked masturbator: he's been naughty to women and downright evil to his naughty bits, but he's been nice to The Gazette, providing plenty of front page fodder.

Maclean's magazine: because they're so in love with those hippies out at UBC and the centre of the university universe – U of T.

Western Parking Services: students paying an arm and a leg for parking deters them from going to class. We're here to learn, not be robbed.

The Social Science Students' Council: for overspending and trying to avoid accountability to their electorate – Santa would give them a lump of coal, but they'd probably lose that too.

The closing of The Fabulous Forum: the city has lost an important landmark and more importantly, all that classy French ballet – the only dance that leaves a film.

Western Housing: not having enough beds for the young frosh. Naughty for not providing an essential need, nice because it may have encouraged communal sex.

Western's Student Code of Conduct: nothing could suck the spirit out of students faster than the Code – except maybe a 'W'-administration calendar.


USC President Mike Lawless: he hasn't screwed up (yet) like previous USC presidents, he's a fine crooner, he gets kudos for his residence tour and many people describe his smile as 'simply dreamy.'

Western President Paul Davenport: ask yourself this – can a French knight really do anything wrong?

Rhonda, Launa, Georgina and the other UCC Tim Horton's ladies: they keep us going with sweet, sweet doses of caffeine-induced euphoria.

On-campus bars: cheap drinks at the Wave and great live music at the Spoke.

Premier Mike Harris: Uncle Mike stepping down from his tyrannical rule is music to our ears.

Hippies: thanks for your sense of left-wing righteous indignation, tambourines, complete lack of hygiene standards and your application of "altruistic morality" whenever it's convenient. Get a job!

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Copyright The Gazette 2001