Volume 94, Issue 91
Wednesday, March 14, 2001
Better bar scene in seven easy steps
That's it I've had enough. After being in this London scene for the past four years watching pubs come (Molly's) and bars go (The Shot), witnessing clubs change their name (The Nac to The Drink) to watering holes revamping their business (Core) I am at my wit's end with the 'scene' in this city.
But I will never give up. For my love of the people, pounding beats and amber-coloured beverages I will, with the help of the students of this university, improve the state of the London bar scene if it's the only legacy I leave.
First Why are we all showing up at the bar at 9 o'clock? Do we all like paying over three times what drinks actually cost? Do we love the bar so much that we all really want to be there for five hours? Can we all not get together and start calling cabs after 10 p.m.? At least let us watch most of the third period in the Leafs game.
Second When we all show up at the bar, can we all not bud in front of everybody else in a peaceful and respectable manner? It happens let's all deal with it together. Why is everyone getting so mad, if we all bud together, things will run a lot smoother.
Third Don't pretend you're a hot shot in front of someone and think that you have VIP status and join the 'other' line, only to get to the front and be baffled at why they're not letting you in because you know some random guy who had a buddy that worked there two years ago. Join the real line with the rest of us 'commoners.'
Fourth Once you're in the establishment everybody spread out. Bouncers hold the line as the bulk of people stay by the door and give the illusion that the place is rammed, when meanwhile some nooks and crannies have plenty of space. Take up room and more people will get in.
Fifth Go and get money during the day at some point. You know that you're going to be hitting the town and that none of these bars give their alcohol out on credit, so go to the bank machine at some point during the day so that you don't spend your whole night waiting to see the Queen's face.
Sixth When the dance floor is full, wait a song or two for people to go to the bathroom or re-fuel. Don't steamroll ahead and start throwing elbows to carve out a niche on the floor. You'll get your chance to get jiggy, just be patient.
Seventh After you order your drink, you and your friends should move away from the bar to go and chat about current events and good times. Don't set up shop right in front of the bartender so that it is impossible to place an order. If you need something to hold you up, keep in mind that trees are good for leaning against (and that's all!).
If we can all come together as one partying public and make a conscious effort toward following these seven simple steps, the bar scene in London is going to be a better place and the good times will flow like wine.
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