Volume 94, Issue 86

Tuesday, March 6, 2001


OPINIONS

Letters to the Editor

Tales from a cell shocked columnist

Tales from a cell shocked columnist

Marcus Maleus
Opinions Intern

Being the mecca for intellectual exchange that is Western, students all too often find themselves having to give and receive important tidbits of information. Sometimes unfortunately, at inopportune times.

Thankfully, this proccess has become more efficient with the onslaught of cell phones.

We should all bow and pay homage to the almightly e-leash (read cell phone) without which, thousands of students would be forced to wait until they got home to recieve pertinent emergency information.

Just the other day, over at the Taylor Library, frightened student "Jimmy" was relieved to learn that some programming on Thursday nights now begins on the 20 minute mark, rather than on the hour and half past. The worlds were still properly aligned and NBC had not unilaterally attempted to shift the time zones back 10 minutes.

Things began to heat up over at Quote's Cafe, when poor "Sandy" was alarmed to learn that she and her trusty cohort "Julie" were unwittingly sporting clothes from the same Jacob spring line. Luckily, "Sandy" had her phone on, was contacted immediately by a third party, and changed into a spare t-shirt, averting sure disaster.

Although the above examples are extreme, they are cases of students in distress. I question whether or not your University Students' Council is paying attention. I heard no mention of any USC subsidized cell phone plans by any of the candidates during the election, forcing me to question who is in fact keeping tabs on human rights here?

Cell phones come with an added feature, and when properly employed, can make everyone's day a little brighter. Why settle for the standard 'ring- ring' tone when your phone comes equipped with giggle-inducing snippets of midi-hilarity such as "pop goes the weasel" and "iron man." Not only are these rings cute and funny the first time you hear them – or at low volumes – but their comedic payoffs grow with volume and number of repititions.

The point here is clear: Cell phones are a necessity for all students. Who, if not the USC, will help ensure you will be sucked into the grips of "connect-o-holicness," spreading joy to others with your funny rings?


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Copyright The Gazette 2000