Volume 95, Issue 43

Friday, November 16, 2001
 
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OPINIONS

"Globalized world demands a focus on the individual"

WIN telling women what to think?

Recombobulator

Recombobulator

Come hither, children of the chuckle and we will rise up against the tyranny of the solemn.



Q: Hey, I'm new to this whole 'money' thing. What could I get for around... oh, I don't know... $7,400? – Goran Persson, Biology II

A: Lots of things: unaccountability, enemies, blame, pretend government scandal. In short, lots and lots of trouble.



Q: If a man says he doesn't like hockey, is he still a real man?

– Sera Baiquer, Political Science IV

A: Maybe so, but he probably does 'the woman' a lot more than regular guys. He probably also watches figure skating for the outfits, not the 'chicks.'



Q: Religious people say "God is everywhere." If that's true, I may have pooed on Him this morning. Am I going to hell?

– Joe Polaski, Engineering III

A: Of course you are! And not just regular hell, but the extra humid hell, where the nose pickers and fart sniffers go too!



Q: I live on a farm. If I wrestle my cow and then milk her, will a milkshake come out?

– John Hedlund, Music I

A: No. Not a chance in hell. And no Johnny, wrestling your chicken won't make scrambled eggs.



The Recombobulator: providing kids with a politically correct alternative to killing cats for over two months.


To Contact The Opinions Department:
gazette.opinions@uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 2001