Volume 95, Issue 35

Friday, November 2, 2001
 
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OPINIONS

Someone get the boy some fries

Policy conventions: more than just ass smoochin'

Recombobulator

Recombobulator

You may have noticed the Recombobulator went on a brief 'hiatus.' That's technical jargon for 'two weeks of ribbon cutting ceremonies at Radio Shack openings across the country.' Anyhow, to no one's chagrin, I'm sure, it's back.



Q: What exactly does rapper Jay-Z mean when he says "shizzle in yo' nizzle"? – Mike Estey, Political Science I

A: Let's put it this way – when mommy and daddy say they're 'just wrestling', they're really playing the "shizzle in yo' nizzle" game.



Q: Let's settle this once and for all – should 'the Monstrous Imagination' be a university course? – Amy Morton, Health Sciences III

A: Hell, if we ever hope to write a better Halloween song than "The Monster Mash," we better start offering it.



Q: The urinals always flush after I go, even if I don't pull the handle. How do they know when I'm done peeing? – Mandy Jobin, Arts II

A: Studies in the custodial sciences have shown that two in every five guys give congratulatory high fives for "kick-ass pisses." As a result, they contacted the folks at 'The Clapper' who designed the "clap on – clap off flusher."



Remember the ancient Swedish proverb – "He who asketh questions becometh master of thy intellectual smorgasbord."


To Contact The Opinions Department:
gazette.opinions@uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 2001