Praise The Gazette for shining a light on 'the movement'
Soph asks SSSC for big-time admission of 'we screwed up'
The Recombobulator: more fun than a night of oral sex at a trashy local nightclub and less filling too!
Q: My grandpa smells like Bingo.
Tim Camp, Political Science II
A: You prankster! That's not a question.
Q: Why do they only sell blond hair dye in the University Community Centre pharmacy?
Jane Watson, Anthropology IV
A: Brown hair dye can be found in what the locals call "the mighty River Thames." It's actually a river of brown hair dye. But Jane, when you're lowering yer noggin, don't get bopped by dead hookers, syringes or other flowing debris.
Q: I've been injected with 400 CCs of 'funk' and I can't stop groovin'. Do you know of a cure for this?
Mike Murphy, English IV
A: There's no hope for ya kid, once you're infected, you got it for life.
Q: I'm a little white boy looking to become 'hard-core.' You got any advice?
Thomas Silverton, Business III
A: Feel free to pop open cans of 'whoop-ass' at any time. Oh and don't be afraid to re-upholster anyone's ass. That should get you to at least 'medium core.'
There are plenty of times to think of questions for the Recombobulator like when you're lying cold, naked, alone and drunk in a gutter. Send questions c/o firstname.lastname@example.org