Volume 95, Issue 48

Tuesday, November 27, 2001
 
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OPINIONS

Guys hold their packages while taking leaks

Randa! Come forward and pick up your salute

The sleeping urge of unity

Guys hold their packages while taking leaks

To the Editor:

If you're like me and drink a bottle of water every hour, you tend to leave your one hour class about three times to take a piss.

It doesn't matter which john I go to, I always seem to get the one that has already been polluted. As I approach the urinal, the aroma is usually very unpleasant and not too visually stimulating.

I think to myself for about five minutes, gazing down into the yellow substance and realize it will all go away if I simply pull down on this three inch handle.

So why can't the guy who made this mess just flush it himself? I had never seen such poor manners until I came to Western, where it seems common courtesy has been flushed down the toilet instead of people's tinkle juice.

Maybe people are getting too accustomed to all these damn automatic flushing toilets, taps and hand soaps. Technological progress makes the human race increasingly lazy – to the extent that people refuse to flush their own pee.

Is it a surprise that obesity is an apparent problem in our society?

Maybe guys feel inferior to the handle. After looking down at something so tiny for about a minute or two while taking a piss, some guys maybe just don't want to pull on something three times the size of their own unit.

Guys may actually be smart and realize that to flush a toilet means touching the handle. A guy takes a leak while holding his package, so now his hand has been in contact with his Johnson.

What happens next? He pulls down on the handle with the same hand. I'm thinking guys have come to the conclusion that the handle has been in indirect contact with a countless number of shlongs.

I know this isn't really helping my case, but there's friggin' soap! This is why you wash your hands – or have guys forgotten about hygiene as well?

In any case, I'm really tired of going to the bathroom and looking at someone else's yellow fruit drink hanging about in the urinal. I'm disgusted with people's poor manners at Western and I wish common courtesy would prevail.



P.S. The Recombobulator kicks ass!!!

Sean Estey

ACS III


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Copyright The Gazette 2001