Volume 95, Issue 21

Wednesday, October 10, 2001
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The Beaver noise: tuneless, sexless and above all, clearly Canadian

Bunny boy and the lemon man

Bunny boy and the lemon man

Unabridged Unexpurgated
Marcus Maleus
Opinions Editor

I am absolutely disgusted with the socially regressive nature of video games on campus. One game in particular makes my blood boil. Right next to the pool tables in The Wave sits a game called 'Big Buck Hunter.'

The object of the game is to shoot as many deer as possible. Pretty disgusting, huh?

As a child, I always hoped Bambi would make a sequel. To see it come in the form of a deer-mutilating video game breaks my heart.

How many more deer need to be senselessly murdered in the name of entertainment? Isn't it enough that thousands upon thousands of deer are killed by cars?

This game is proof that Western is not in fact a leader or a thinker. I'd say its more of a wildlife oppressing, frolicking-friend killing institute of buck and doe genocide.

Deer are people too, folks – let's treat them like it.

I hope we all realize how ridiculous this rant really is.

I realize some of you actually agree with it. I know your type – the kids who cried when I bounced their basketball too hard; the first to tattle when I asked for one chip and took two; the cry-babies who still thought 'crap' was a swear word in grade eight.

It's those people who grow up to be the incessant whiners that litter this campus – walking around with 'mean people suck' t-shirts, complaining about everything from the 'W Girls and W Boys' calendar to big business taking over campus while sipping Coke and smoking duMauriers.

Luke Atkins, the brains behind the 'W' calendars, has my full support. This campus needs more people like him – people who are willing to risk being the source of tears for the all-too-sensitive types.

It has become close to impossible to pursue any kind of venture on campus without someone feeling uncomfortable or offended. I sometimes try to think of ideas I could push that wouldn't incite anger.

No such luck. Even a hypothetical 'Save the Bunny Rabbits Foundation' would probably meet resistance from some student who felt bunny overpopulation is keeping the voice of the chinchilla muted.

Even a lemonade stand on campus may incite violence. "Take your consumerism elsewhere, lemon boy" they may shout.

Perhaps hearing people complain about seemingly minuscule problems is a positive thing – we must live pretty comfortable lives to get so excited over a calendar of scantily clad students.

Its easy to get worked up over petty issues while swimming in the luxury of high-speed Internet, central heating and DVD players. For that reason, before we get 'disgusted' and 'utterly appalled,' perhaps a few deep, introspective breaths should be in order.

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Copyright The Gazette 2001