Volume 95, Issue 21

Wednesday, October 10, 2001
 
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OPINIONS

The Beaver noise: tuneless, sexless and above all, clearly Canadian

Bunny boy and the lemon man

The Beaver noise: tuneless, sexless and above all, clearly Canadian

To the Editor:

Man, it's hard being a man. My fellow testosterone soaked ilk have been blamed for all the centuries we have oppressed women.

I admit – men have been sexist scoundrels in the past. But I'm also a firm believer that nowadays, we've changed our ways; we've mended the laws.

Heckā we're sorry! That's why it bugs me there's a movement to change our national anthem's words. Here's the guilty lyric: "in all our sons' command." This offends some women for they feel excluded. The lyrics may make no mention to womanhood but some women are nuts to make such a big deal out of it.

It's just the way people wrote back in pre-politically correct days. 'He' implied men and women! The French attribute every word to one sex or another but they mean no offense – 'sun' may be male, but 'the earth' is female. Which one's more important?

Who cares? I find the French lyrics to 'Oh Canada' far more offensive. Translated, a verse reads something to the effect of, "as in thy arm ready to wield the sword, so also is it ready to carry the cross." Clearly not all Canadians are male and clearly not all are Christian either.

Why hasn't this issue been brought up? I think many Canadians, especially Native Americans, could find the image of a sword and cross offensive since many of their ancestors can't "stand on guard for thee" after being decapitated for not converting.

Even if the anthem is amended so it's unbiased to sex or religion, there is still the issue of exclusion of the tone deaf. I for one can't carry a tune but would still like to stand proudly with my fellow Canadians and sing.

My point is there are more important issues out there, like fighting terrorism. The paltry debate over our sexist national anthem is inconsequential to the big picture.

Here's a solution: let's do away with the anthem and merely shout out beaver sounds at full volume at hockey games. That would be a proud, tuneless, sexless and, above all, clearly Canadian solution.

Joules Landing

History II


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