Volume 95, Issue 32
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
Political animals
 
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'Oh my god - he's whacking off'

A man was seen masturbating in a tunnel between the University Community Centre and the Social Science Centre last Tuesday afternoon, an incident that may be connected to previous reports of men pleasuring themselves on campus.

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Protesters say goodbye to Mike

Organizers of Saturday's protest outside the Ontario Tory policy convention – which was guarded by a large police presence – said the event was not a disappointment, despite having a smaller turnout than expected.

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ęDave Van Dyck/Gazette
OFFICER ARMER WAS PRETTY EMBARASSED; HE SHOWED UP TO THE PROTEST WEARING THE SAME OUTFIT AS ALL THE OTHER POLICE. A fashion-conscious cop watched the rabble of dirty hippies along York Street Saturday. In other news, local tambourine sales have skyrocketed.

 

K-PAX is original escapism

It's a pity movie-goers have to wait for films like K-PAX in order to see some thoughtful and original entertainment.

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Who'll cry for Peter Pumpkinhead?

Poor, innocent pumpkins were thrown from a second-story balcony yesterday, never to live out their dreams of becoming Halloween jack-o-lanterns.

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The coppers are hogging all the sweet weed!

High times could become increasingly hard to find for several big-time London marijuana dealers, as police continue to seize millions of dollars worth of illegal pot.

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Sweet revenge is best served with a football
Mustangs pay back Warriors in playoffs

Being soundly beaten in front of over 10,000 supporters has to leave a fiery wound etched deep in the pit of your stomach – a terminal ulcer for which the only cure is redemption.

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