Volume 95, Issue 16

Thursday, September 27, 2001
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Decision making 101

Duty to help

A horrible thing

No need to cry, we're being progressive

Western: land of VDs, essays and booze

A world full on conspiracies?

The little red watch that could

The little red watch that could

Unabridged Unexpurgated
Marcus Maleus
Opinions Editor

When I turned eight, my aunt in Sweden sent me a wonderful gift – my first watch. Bright red pleather band and beautiful little dials.

Being so young, I had a tendency to fall over, run into walls, land in mud and blow my nose all over the place. For those reasons, mommy ordered me to leave the watch indoors.

I did, but I wasn't happy about it. I loved that watch. I prided myself on being able to tell people exactly what time it was.

Not only was I great at telling time, but I learned a valuable lesson at that early age – if you say you'll be somewhere at a certain time, do your best to keep your promise.

As the years go by, I'm beginning to think I'm the only one who subscribes to this concept of time. It seems the vast majority of my friends don't believe in it.

When they say 15 minutes, they mean half an hour. One hour means between an hour-and-a-half and two hours.

Why do people have such a hard time keeping appointments?

I'm sure people know about time. I've seen their watches. I've seen people look at clocks. I've even been asked what time it is.

Do people just say times because they like to say numbers? Is there a time zone one-half-hour behind Southern Ontario that hovers over me?

Of course not.

Being late without a valid reason is selfish. It seems to suggest the late person's time is more important than the other party's.

For the few of you who look at your watches and see two hands – one big, one little and accurately make plans, I commend you. In fact, I love you and want you as my friend.

For the rest of you who look at your watches and see nothing but grey, or perhaps the words "whenever I feel like it" inscribed where the numbers should be, I'll gladly sit down with you and explain how real time works.

I'm not an extremely religious man, but I believe in one thing – God knows about time.

My hope is that when this latter category of people pass away and are awaiting entry to heaven, he makes you wait for a very, very long time.

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Copyright The Gazette 2001