Volume 95, Issue 5

Friday, September 7, 2001
 
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SPORTS

If only multiple choice exams were this good...

Like gypsies? Our editors peer into their crystal football

Bucs will make the rest of the NFC walk the plank

A look into the OUA

Mustangs to beef up on offence

Diehards drool over Western athletics

One day lacrosse could be boss

Keep off the frosh 15: Staying fit in junk food heaven

Soccer team to work on their offensive firepower

In the stands or on the field, Mustangs never die

Diehards drool over Western athletics

By Jordan Bell
Gazette Staff

When I was a strapping young lad, I had a dream – one day I would rule the world, the sporting world that is.

I would launch the perfect Hail Mary, throw down the sickest dunk on some unsuspecting tool and violently imprint the "Wilson" insignia on a rival volley-ballers forehead.

Time has passed and although the records aren't falling and the reporters aren't beating down my door, I am a member of an elite sporting club.

I am a Western Mustang.

Mustang b-baller, Jimmy Grozelle, showing a heart, never disappoints. The Western cheerleaders doing Houdini-like feats of magic. Freezing your ass off on hard metal seats, so enthralled with the gridiron action that hypothermia couldn't drag you out of TD Waterhouse stadium for fear of missing the magical moment. This is purple pride and it's stronger than ever in the Forest City.

Western offers a plethora of athletic opportunities for your typical diehard jock. Travel down to the University Community Centre at 1 p.m. for some ballin' – but remember, it's not for the faint of heart.

Join ultimate Frisbee, the "talk" of the intramural circuit. Be a member of any varsity sports club at Western and immediately you're in contention for a national championship.

The possibilities are endless.

For a lost and innocent baby embarking on their first Western experience, it can be a frightening time. But with the greatness of Mustang athletics, the transition will be eased.

To assist these youngsters on what to look for at this stellar institution of higher learning, I present you with "Joe the Jock's" top ten aspects of Mustang athletics:



10. Ultimate Frisbee.

9. Afternoon basketball at the UCC, where your NBA dreams can be fulfilled.

8. The varsity coaches – whose experience and intellect are unparalleled in this vast country (can you say Craig Boydell and Ray Takahashi?).

7. The purple and white spirit, which on campus is out-of-this-world.

6. Spectating at the UCC window for noon-time aerobics class.

5. Gazette sports (I couldn't help myself).

4. J.W., the newly made-over Mustang mascot.

3. The new and extravagant TD Waterhouse Stadium, our state-of-the-art sports complex.

2. The Mustang cheerleaders, who make opposing squads look like bumbling circus freaks.

1. And finally, the number one reason to follow Mustang sports... we always win. And if we don't, it's because we feel sorry for the other guys.



So for the innocent, inexperienced rookies pulling up to the gates of Western, realize and appreciate you are part of a special group of people.

You are Mustangs.



P.S. If you're not into sports, at least you're good looking, which is more than you can say for those buffoons at Windsor.


To Contact The Sports Department:
gazette.sports@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 2000