Volume 95, Issue 5

Friday, September 7, 2001
 
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NEWS

Western Pie - our cast of characters

The Gazette: covering everything that counts

Laugh, drink, smoke, study, spew...

How to be the best bunk buddies

Bitch List: Five w's of the last great art

Answers to all your UWO FAQs

Money? Kiss it all goodbye

Getting a 'piece' of Western pie

An outsider's guide to becoming a UWO insider

Can you say Operation Massive?

Academics, remember them?

Western Pie - our cast of characters

As summer movies go, the pair of American Pie films have become legendary fodder for young, impressionable minds filled with thoughts of three things – sex, friends and moving on.

The cast members remind us all of people we knew when we were at that same critical point in our lives. In fact, they may even remind us of ourselves. That hot one-night stand with the girl in the band. That on-going obsession with your best friend's volumptuous mother. That embarrassing incident in the boys washroom. That feeling of breaking up with someone because time and distance will soon replace history and custom. That sensation of copulating with warm apple pie.

Well, maybe not the last one.

At any rate, we at The Gazette chose Western Pie as our Frosh Issue theme because every student on this campus can relate to starting over in a new place, with new people, better parties and lots of different experiences.

You won't find Stifler or Nadia or Jim's dad on campus, but you may find people like the ones below and you may be interested in some of the same things they are.

Welcome to Western. Now grab your slice of the pie and eat up!

Ben

Ben is one of those gifted students who arrived at Western with a huge scholarship waiting for him. He is all about academics and plans to spend the bulk of the next four years in library carrels all across campus. He also likes specialty coffee shops, where he and his pseudo-intellectual friends can meet and chat.

Hope

Hope is an alt.chick arty grrl interested in the unconventional Western scene. You'll find her in a smoky club or coffee shop in her best second-hand duds, reading a dog-eared copy of Catcher in the Rye she bought for 50 cents at one of the used book stores on Richmond Street.

Steve Cooper

Cooper, as he is always referred to, likes three things: beer, beer and beer. Cooper is here to party and waste all of his parents' cash in bars, nightclubs and pubs in order to do his part in maintaining Western's glorious reputation.
Joe

Joe's one and only interest at Western is sports – he lives, breathes, eats and sleeps the stuff. He likes his football, soccer, basketball, rugby and hockey, but most of all, he loves his cricket.
Carol Wherson, the mom

Carol is nervous about her first child going off to university. She has heard all those nasty rumours about bad food, dirty washrooms, frequent and empty sex, cocaine binges and affairs with Profs. Needless to say, she's nervous.

Kristy


Kristy is totally excited about being at Western because she is dying to meet a real, live fratboy who will take her on long, romantic walks along the Thames River and lend his jacket to her while they wait in sub-zero weather outside a popular dance club. Her favourite pastimes include primping, giggling, shopping and giggling.

Naomi Stein

Naomi is a left-wing anarchist/activist looking to be very active on campus, which includes joining a number of politically-oriented clubs and organizations. Oddly enough, she also has a warm spot for such bourgeois things as live theatre and four-star restaurants.




To Contact The News Department:
gazette.news@julian.uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 2000