Volume 95, Issue 97

Tuesday, April 9, 2002
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Van Wilder ain't no Animal House

You'll scream for Oliver!

Puttin' "compact" back in discs

Porn o' Plenty

A&E's Top 5 Restaurants of 2001-2002

Shits and Giggles

A&E: Leaving the last word to a song


Raven Eyes – Our volunteer psychic who never came through – not even once.

People who fall through – Useless record company people who don't return calls, organize interviews or do their jobs.

Thursdays – No A&E.

Messes – The A&E filing cabinet, our present to next year's editors.

Drugs – Memory loss that makes some editors lose important info.

Co-editors – Especially the scary ones.

The Macs we use – Cause their computers really peaked in 1987.


Our salary – The weird satisfaction that we're paid less than most sweatshop workers to work in a similarly flourescent-lit, windowless room.

Food – Restaurant reviews: eat like a king, for free!

Porn O' Plenty – Free porn makes people happy (and strangely educated in porn issues).

More free stuff – Free movie passes and merchandise.

VIP Passes – Guest list privileges to theatre and concerts. No waiting in line for us!

Wongs – Cause two Wongs are better than one.

Bragging rights – The right to say at least one of us has talked to someone who's slept with 2,000 people in two days.

–A&E editors

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Copyright The Gazette 2002