ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
Hedgehogs and beavers, oh my
Spicy dating drama hot off the
These musical Streets and
Roads are worth travelling
Hedgehogs and beavers, oh my
By Dale Wyatt
Ever wonder if Britney Spears' breasts are real or fake? Legendary porn
star Ron Jeremy has the answer.
"That's easy. Britney Spears – 100 per cent fake," Jeremy says. "We saw
her beforehand. What, did she do go to the gym and pump up her boobs?"
Although not famous for his stunning good looks or wisdom, Ron Jeremy –
also known as the Hedgehog, due to his hairy physique and stubby frame –
is one man almost everyone has at least heard of.
Even as a child, he was an attention grabber.
||"I was always hyper. I was kinda the class clown. My
mom had to get called down to school a few times and the teachers
always said, 'Ronny is a bright boy, but he cracks all these jokes and
tries to be funny and disturbs the rest of the class who might not be
as bright and are being distracted by him.' I would get all my work
done, but stop the other kids from doing theirs," he explains.
Then one day – at the age of 15 – he had sex for the first of what
would turn out to be many, many times. Jeremy recalls the experience.
"I had played around a lot up to that point. I had done a lot of dry
humping, grinding, kissing, petting, fondling, everything but the actual
'hide the bacon.'
"My first time was with a girl named Margy and a rock," Jeremy jokes.
"Across from this elementary school, there was a rock and we messed around
and had our first sex behind the rock. I put the rubber on backwards so
basically I was sliding in and out of the rubber cause the lubrication was
against me. In the end, I basically had sex with the rubber and not Margy."
Later, after having a nude photo published in Playgirl, Jeremy was
approached to do an adult film. He declined the initial offer, as his eyes
were set on mainstream Hollywood.
"I said no at first, but then a lot of the same guys who were doing porn
were also doing mainstream so I thought, 'hey, maybe if I do this, they
will notice me and put me in a regular movie,' which is eventually what
It's obvious Jeremy has gained far more success and notoriety for his
adult films than his "mainstream" acting.
"I measure success nine-and-three-quarter-inches," he laughs.
"You don't measure success by money – it is a habit most Americans do. It
is hard to say what success is, but, in the adult industry, I am very
successful. The recent Adult Video News just came out – which is the main
magazine – and they named me as the number one porn star of all-time.
"As far as money and acclaim, I am very successful. In the mainstream
movie business I am medium, lukewarm. I got some major parts in some major
films, but not enough to say I am successful in Hollywood," he admits.
Apart from getting to sleep with girls far more beautiful than him, Jeremy
explains there are many benefits to being a not-so attractive celebrity.
"I don't have the kind of looks so that a guy is going to feel I am going
to steal his girl away. So, what happens is a girl will be in line with
her husband waiting for an autograph, then she will say 'please autograph
my tits' or she will kiss or hug or grab me and her husband will say, 'you
are the only guy I would ever let her do that with.' I hear that all the
time," Jeremy explains.
Another thing he frequently hears are complaints from the large number of
individuals who feel the porn industry has detrimental effects on things
like family values.
"I had a debate with a priest and it was easy – I always win. One of the
things a couple can do to stop from going out and screwing around is to
watch an adult movie. It is a sexual aid. Porn doesn't break couples
apart. No husband is going leave his wife for Jenna Jameson. Porn can
actually encourage monogamy," Jeremy insists.
"Then you look at R-rated films and you see slashing, dashing and
intestines hanging out and you gotta wonder what's worse for kids to see?
These religious fanatics don't like premarital sex of any kind. Their
problem isn't with porn, its with premarital sex."
Whether you agree with it or not, most people have come to accept
pornography as a part of modern culture. There is clearly a large audience
for porn – one responsible for Jeremy's continued success.
Laughing, Jeremy jokes, "our audience, when they stand up, they stand up."
Ron Jeremy burrows his way to Fanshawe College tonight at 7 p.m. in
Forwell Hall. Tickets are $4 for non-Fanshawe students.