Volume 95, Issue 72

Friday, February 8, 2002

Search the Archives:

Tips for searching

Campus and Culture
Submit Letter
Contact Us
About the Gazette


Disinformation went too far

Gazette recieves first love letter



This leg of the Recombobulator World Tour 2002 takes us to the land of ying and yang China! Known for its fantastic array of spices, silk and fireworks, the wonderful people of this historic land have welcomed us with open arms. We return the favour with an open mind!

Q: When does a girl become a lady? Jolene Wheely, Kinesiology II

A: When she finally accepts the fact that Mary Kate and Ashley Olson are not one person split in two because they're too "totally awesome" to exist in one body.

Q: I really love strippers, domestic beer in cans, wearing Skid Row t-shirts and watching re-runs of "Three's Company." Am I automatically enrolled in college? Duane Blosse, Social Science I

A: You bet! All it takes is a couple pairs of pleated acid washed jeans, and you could get an honourary degree!

Q: Last week, I walked downtown on Dundas St. and wasn't harassed by anyone. Am I in some parallel universe? Sam Cruz, Administrative and Commercial Studies II

A: You seem to have entered what scientists call a "glitch zone" in the universe. This occurs when two dimensions cross each other, thus knocking out the normalcy of that 'moment.' A similar phenomenon was reported when a University Students' Council presidential candidate spoke from their mouth and not their ass. Spooky, I know.

Q: You know the 'five second rule' for dropping food? Well I subscribe to the '10 second rule.' Is this unhealthy? Grant Gentler, Philosophy IV

A: Most historians know that was how the plague started in Europe in the 1600s. Henry Lancaster dropped a piece of Yorkshire pudding, waited a whole nine seconds before picking it up and eating it, thus sparking widespread disease and heartache for the people of Europe. Please Grant, don't be a plague-starter.

To Contact The Opinions Department:

Copyright The Gazette 2002