Disinformation went too far
Gazette recieves first love letter
This leg of the Recombobulator World Tour 2002 takes us to the land of
ying and yang – China! Known for its fantastic array of spices, silk and
fireworks, the wonderful people of this historic land have welcomed us
with open arms. We return the favour with an open mind!
Q: When does a girl become a lady? – Jolene Wheely, Kinesiology II
A: When she finally accepts the fact that Mary Kate and Ashley
Olson are not one person split in two because they're too "totally
awesome" to exist in one body.
Q: I really love strippers, domestic beer in cans, wearing Skid Row
t-shirts and watching re-runs of "Three's Company." Am I automatically
enrolled in college? – Duane Blosse, Social Science I
A: You bet! All it takes is a couple pairs of pleated acid washed
jeans, and you could get an honourary degree!
Q: Last week, I walked downtown on Dundas St. and wasn't harassed
by anyone. Am I in some parallel universe? – Sam Cruz, Administrative and
Commercial Studies II
A: You seem to have entered what scientists call a "glitch zone" in
the universe. This occurs when two dimensions cross each other, thus
knocking out the normalcy of that 'moment.' A similar phenomenon was
reported when a University Students' Council presidential candidate spoke
from their mouth and not their ass. Spooky, I know.
Q: You know the 'five second rule' for dropping food? Well I
subscribe to the '10 second rule.' Is this unhealthy? – Grant Gentler,
A: Most historians know that was how the plague started in Europe
in the 1600s. Henry Lancaster dropped a piece of Yorkshire pudding, waited
a whole nine seconds before picking it up and eating it, thus sparking
widespread disease and heartache for the people of Europe. Please Grant,
don't be a plague-starter.