Volume 95, Issue 60

Friday, January 18, 2002
 
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OPINIONS

Council has had its "difficulties"

A safe target for public criticism

Le Recombobulateur

Le Recombobulateur

There comes a time in every person's life when they are faced with the sudden revelation that they must buckle down and grab life by the horns, lest they forever remain a child. I know, we're scared too. But, until that time comes, let's PARTY!



Q: Is it acceptable to skateboard after the age of 20? – Ernie Scarr, Media, Information and Technoculture IV

A: According to 34-year-old Harry Potter fanatic Doug (Bobo to his friends), anyone who believes that is "a real poo-sniffing jerk smacker" whose mother has probably, on at least one occasion, "licked throwup."



Q: Recombobulator, will you be my date for Charity Ball? – Cassie Lindford, Psychology II

A: Does a monkey sniff his own butt? You bet he does! But, do you think maybe you have a friend for my brother, the Deconfusorizer?



Q: You know the saying 'you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' nose?' Well that's bullshit, 'cause my friend Tony lets me dig away for hours at a time. What do you think about that Mr. Recomwhatever the hell your name is? – Johnny Walker, Whiskey II

A: I think you discovered the answer on your own. Now try and make sense of this one: They say it takes two to tango, but if that's true, how do you explain all those single-tangoers (or 'Tango-baters' as they call themselves)?



Q: I own a 'self-improvement' store and I'm having a major problem with shoplifting. People keep coming in and taking initiative. Any suggestions? – Brendan Kerrigan, Engineering IV

A: Shame on you, you bad, bad joke-maker!



Q: I am married with three children, am not actually blind and I don't love long walks on the beach or short ones. I hear I can still qualify for The Gazette's Blind Date feature. Is this true? – Twotime Tommy Loveless, Loneliness III

A: You got'er otter! Anyone can. Just swing-a-ling on up to room 263 of the University Community Centre and fill out a form. Next thing you know, you're in love!



The Recombulator! It's like winning MVP after a good game of tonsil hockey with your sister. See ya next week!




To Contact The Opinions Department:
gazette.opinions@uwo.ca

Copyright The Gazette 2001