Volume 95, Issue 54

Tuesday, January 9, 2002
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Bill C-36: dishing out the Canadian philanthropy blues

Whisked away by a nasty video clerk

Whisked away by a nasty video clerk

Molly Pop
Molly Duignan
A&E Editor

The first day of a new year – things are always a bit eerie, no?

Beyond the haze of a plugged and hungover head, rests the pressure of what is to come. A new year, a fresh chance, an opportunity to make those damned resolutions that I never follow through on.

This year's resolution? Not so hard to follow through on: don't listen to strangers' advice and don't take my own fate lightly.

So there I am, Jan. 1, 2002, a friend and I picking out a movie to spend the afternoon with. An hour later, having finally chosen two unseen, apparently brainless movies (the sign said "Two for $2 on Tuesdays!"), the video store employee informs me my choices are "terrible" and insists on whisking me away to help choose a more appropriate choice.

Dumbfounded by her intrusive suggestion that my picks are bad and that she is oh-so-informed enough to pick one for me, I am a little leery of the know-it-all's advice.

Five minutes and very few words later, I find myself dishing out five bucks for a movie I never wanted in the first place, rendered speechless by this dominating I-work-at-a-video-store-therefore-I-know-everything bitch. And since it's a holiday, the toonie Tuesday's don't count! Since when does a day's status as holiday halt a Tuesday special?

Frustrated, my friend and I step into Mac's for slurpees served by an incompetent, hey-I-just-work-here-so-don't-ask-me-for-any-favours jerk who couldn't break a twenty because Mac's is somehow short on change. Go figure.

Now entirely disgruntled by my own sudden transformation into a doormat who can apparently be walked on and over, 2002 suddenly wasn't looking as promising as my horoscope claimed it would be.

Is this my future? Is this 2002?

Already I was being worked over by people who were apparently not only smarter and more informed than me, but total strangers who impose their terribly overbearing and self-serving personalities on others.

While standing in the pouring rain, profoundly disappointed at myself and the rest of humanity, marveling at how suddenly I stood with an overpriced, badly brewed slurpee and a shitty movie I didn't even want – I made the move.

I trudged deliberately back to the video store, grabbed the movie I originally wanted and exchanged it for the one I already had. Victorious at last!

Mind you, the movie did turn out to suck, but I was not about to let this arrogant girl decide what I would watch on my couch-bound day.

So, having changed my own fate, I left the store feeling 100 per cent lifted of the bad omen 2002 seemed to be forcing upon me.

The moral of this tale? First, don't take advice from strangers: how the hell do they know what you want? Second, it's never too late to change your fate.

Happy New Year, let 2002 be what you want, not what anyone else thinks it should be.

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Copyright The Gazette 2001